Youkai in Black
by Himizu-chan
Summary: Himizu and Ryouko are bored, so they've become criminals for hire! Sure to involve narrow escapes, hilarious misadventures, and confrontations with Koenma! And they've also decided to drag Hiei and Kurama along just for the sheer joy of it. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: An original work! (Gasp) Yeah, I've been working on this for a long time, and I'm finally far enough ahead that I think I can keep writing chapters while still updating at a reasonable pace. I hope you guys like this, b/c this is one of my favorites so far. This isn't the best chapter, but it gets really good later, I promise. Stick with me on this, it's gonna be a good one!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything... except myself and the ideas...That's it. BTW, I installed the lawyer traps, so unless you have cloned zombie lawyers, I would suggest leaving me alone.

Youkai in Black

The room was pitch black. Suddenly, two spotlights appeared, showing Himizu and Ryouko dressed in black jeans, black long-sleeved T-shirts, and black high-heeled boots. They were also wearing black trench coats, black sunglasses, and black fedoras. Then the song Men in Black by Will Smith began to play and the two girls started dancing to the music

_"Here come the Men in Black. Here__ come the Men in Black. They won't let you remember. Here come the Men in Black. Here come the Men in Black. They won't let you remember…"_

After several minutes of this, a door opened quietly and a dark shadow slipped into the room, shutting the door before the girls noticed anything. Then the music stopped.

Himizu jerked her head around. "What the hell? Where's my music???"

Ryouko groaned softly. "I bet I know what it is…"  
Himizu looked furious. "You're kidding, right?"  
"Nope…" Ryouko shook her head.

"Again???" Himizu squawked.

"Yep…" The shaking turned to nodding.

Both girls turned to the left side of the stage. "DAMNIT JAGANSHI, GET OUT OF HERE!!!"

Lights suddenly flipped on, revealing everyone's favorite fire demon next to the music player, which was now off. He hadn't cut it with his katana or anything, probably for fear of death.

"Hn… What are you two doing? You've been barricaded in here all morning," Hiei said.

The girls looked at each other. Himizu threw her hands up in despair and went over to a high-tech computer and began typing in a series of letters and numbers. Ryouko turned back to the youkai.

"Not that it's any of your business, but we're making a commercial."

Judging by the shocked expression on Hiei's face, that hadn't been what he had been expecting. "Run that by me again… I think I must have misunderstood you."

"Did she just tell you that a chicken is the Antichrist?" asked Himizu. "Because it is, but most people can't understand that. No one understands that the Holy Duck must be worshipped and that the Demonic Chicken is the Antichrist!!! Why don't they understand??? IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!"

"Well, you're wearing that stupid fedora, so you don't have any room to talk," Hiei snapped at her.

"NEVER… INSULT… THE FEDORA!!!" Himizu yelled, going all doom-like and attacking him with a mallet.

Kurama walked in, just in time to see Hiei dodge the mallet and jump onto one of the ceiling rafters so Himizu couldn't attack him any more. She started cussing him out furiously.

"What's going on here?" asked Kurama.

Ryouko sighed. "Long story…"

Kurama lifted his eyebrows as he watched Himizu cussing Hiei out in every curse word of every language she knew… it was actually a rather long list. "I can imagine… give me a summary."

"Okay… Himizu and I are making a commercial and Hiei keeps interrupting us, so Himizu finally flipped out and I think she's going to go rabid in a minute."

"You're making a commercial?" Kurama asked incredulously.

"Yeah, you wanna see it?" Ryouko asked. Kurama shrugged in assent, so she typed several keys on the keyboard and a picture appeared on a giant projector screen hanging on the opposite wall.

The screen showed Ryouko and Himizu in the same black outfits that they were wearing now while large bold letters said 'Chicks in Black' across the screen. Men in Black started playing as the girls danced and an announcer voice talked about how the two girls were master thieves and assassins, masters of disguise, able to carry out any mission of stealth, ready and willing to risk their lives for adventure and some cash. Occasionally a still-shot or a short clip showed the girls doing various spy-type things, such as climbing walls with grapnels and rope, standing against a wall holding giant machine guns, and Himizu driving a cool black convertible with Ryouko riding shotgun. The photos and clips showed the girls as cool, sophisticated, and deadly… It was a good ad, Kurama thought. But they had to be nuts.

"You have to be nuts!" Hiei said, voicing Kurama's thoughts for him. "Why would you want to hire yourselves out as thieves or spies or whatever?"

"Cuz we need more money and we think it would be a little easier to advertise and get hired," Ryouko replied.

"But if you get caught, you'll still be punished even if you're only following orders," Kurama pointed out.

"That's why we're not going to get caught," Himizu told him.

"I can't believe you're actually going to do this. I mean, do you even know what type of people are going to be hiring you?" Hiei asked.

"Underworld scum who won't want to leave any trace of their activities behind and so will try to assassinate us, or some freaky messed-up pervs who think it'll be a thrill to hire a couple hot chicks just for kicks and try to bang them… of course, we will happily kick the ass of any jerk stupid enough to try that," Himizu said, cracking her knuckles.

"And when are you planning to air this commercial?" Kurama asked, feeling slightly horrified.

"Right now…" Ryouko replied, hitting a button. "At this moment, the commercial is airing almost everywhere, on TV, on the Internet, on the radio, etc. Now we just have to wait for a call."

"God, you two are psychotic."

"CHICKEN!!!"

"HOLY HELL!!!" screamed Himizu, jumping a mile and landing on the rafters next to Hiei, crouched in a position similar to a nervous cat. She twitched madly. "I hate that phone…"

Ryouko answered it. "Hello, Chicks in Black. Yes… yes… an hour? Sure… Okay, see you then." She hung up the phone. "HIMIZU!!! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!!!" she yelled.

Himizu stared at the floor. Then she blinked. Then she looked up and saw that Hiei was standing next to her. Then she pulled out her mallet. Hiei groaned and jumped quickly off the rafters and down to the floor. Himizu followed. Ryouko grabbed her by the collar before she could mangle Hiei further.

"Listen you, we have a client! We have to get to his house in an hour!"

"Where does he live?"

"He says the house is in Germany… NAZIS!!!"

"Oh my God…" Kurama muttered. "You girls are so doomed…"

"No we're not!" Himizu said, adjusting her fedora happily.

"What in the world makes you say that?" demanded Hiei.

"Because you two are coming with us as our bodyguards!" Ryouko said happily. Both boys looked at each other and turned to run. They were promptly snatched and held by their collars.

"You can't run, you should know that by now," Himizu scolded them. "Now about your uniforms…"

"Oh holy God…" Hiei groaned. Ryouko looked them both over.

"Hiei, you're fine… you look all scary and evil and you're wearing black… but Kurama, you need work. Here, put these on!"

Kurama found himself holding an outfit that was nearly identical to the girl's, except that his boots didn't have high-heels.

"I will not wear a fedora," he told them. Himizu rolled her eyes, but took the fedora and gave him a different black hat with a low brim that he could pull down until it almost covered his eyes. She tossed Hiei a pair of black sunglasses and a black trench coat. He just glared at her.

"Just put them on, at least we're not making you completely change clothes!" she yelled at him. He shrugged and took the coat and sunglasses. Then the foursome walked out to a garage. Inside, they found the cool black car that the girls had been driving in their commercial.

"Nice ride…" Hiei said.

"Thanks. We like it," Himizu said, hopping into the driver's seat, not even using the door, just hopping over it and onto the smooth black leather seat. Ryouko also hopped over her door into the shotgun position. Kurama and Hiei both froze.

"I don't think so, there is no way I'm gonna ride in a car driven by YOU!!!" Hiei exclaimed.

"It's better than riding in a car being driven by Ryouko, at least I have my license," Himizu pointed out.

"Who in their right minds would give you a license???" Hiei yelled.

"The guy that gave me my test… He acted like a pissed off robot, but I didn't break any traffic laws, so he thought I would be a good little girl and all that… mwa ha ha!" she cackled.

"Shut up fool. But it's true that she does have a license… not even God knows what she did to get it, but she got it," Ryouko told the boys. "NOW GET IN THE DAMN CAR!!!"

"Is it safe?" Kurama asked.

"I've ridden with her dozens of times. I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"You're immortal…"

"Good point… but she's never crashed, she loves this car too much."

"GET IN YOU FOOLS!!!" Himizu yelled. The two boys decided it would be in their best interest to do so, and they climbed in. Himizu started the car. Speed Kills, by Bush (good song, don't own) began playing and Himizu floored the gas, sending the car rocketing out of the garage and down the street. She hit a button on the dashboard and suddenly the whole landscape vanished and was replaced by a totally different landscape. "Welcome to Germany," she announced happily.

"So the car travels through different dimensions?" Kurama asked.

"Of course. It wouldn't be much use to us otherwise," Ryouko pointed out. Get a Grip by Aerosmith (another great song, still don't own) started playing. Himizu started headbanging, drumming her hands against the steering wheel, and singing along. Usually when Himizu sang, Ryouko thwacked her over the head with the nearest hard object. But instead she let one of her arms trail over the edge of the car and be whipped by the wind as she sang along as well.

Kurama leaned back in his seat. They were driving through the countryside with a long straight road laying before them. The sun shone down on them and the wind felt good. He took off his hat and sat it in his lap so it wouldn't be blown away and leaned back and closed his eyes. It was actually very peaceful. Hiei grunted softly and crossed his arms, looking bored. He watched Ryouko and Himizu sing and laugh. The wind was whipping their long hair every which way and they really didn't seem to care. It was hard to believe that they were about to embark on some sort of mad spy mission that would probably risk all their lives.

A/N: Well, not my best, not my worst. If you have any interesting ideas for more weird missions, feel free to send them in, I am rather flexible. Review please! Ja ne!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter isn't the best one... I don't know... it's got its good points, but it's mostly just... I dunno... I'm not enthusiastic about this chapter, I'll be brutally honest. Once we get to chapter 3 or 4 though, it gets a LOT better, I promise. So read this, enjoy it as much as possible, and review so that I will be motivated to actually give you the chapters that are really good.

After almost 40 minutes of driving, Ryouko directed Himizu down a narrow lane. This winding mess led them through a forest and finally opened in front of a giant mansion.

"So typical… all the criminal masterminds these days seem to live in huge mansions in the middle of nowhere…" Ryouko muttered.

She and Himizu opened their doors and climbed out. Then they started primping. Both tucked their long unruly hair into ponytails, placed their sunglasses on their noses, perched their fedoras on their heads at rakish angles, and adjusted their trench coats so that they were hanging open and exposing their tight black jeans and their black shirts with the Japanese symbol for death emblazoned in silver across the front.

"Now let's get you two straightened up," Ryouko said to the two boys. She began to adjust Hiei's outfit while Himizu did the same to Kurama's. Both boys had their trench coats buttoned up and the collars turned up. Both had their sunglasses placed firmly on their noses and Kurama had his black hat placed low on his head so that it was level with the top of his sunglasses. Hiei didn't have a hat, but he looked pretty sinister without one, so it didn't matter. Both boys had their faces almost completely obscured. Ryouko and Himizu nodded in satisfaction as they looked over their handiwork and started marching off to the mansion. The boys followed.

The girls burst through the doors of the mansion exactly one hour after they had received the phone call. A crisp looking butler wearing a cap with a Nazi swastika approached them.

"Who are you?" he demanded in thickly accented English. The two girls whipped out ID badges. The butler examined them briefly and nodded. "And these two?" he asked, nodding towards Kurama and Hiei, who looked quite sinister. Again, the girls whipped out ID badges. Again, the butler examined them and found everything to be in order. He led them to an elaborately carved set of double doors.

"Mr. Schlimm, the agents are here," he announced.

"Excellent, send them in, Kellermeister."

The butler led the foursome inside where an elderly man was seated on a comfy looking armchair, smoking a pipe. His whole room was like one big Nazi propaganda. Ryouko's eyebrow twitched under her fedora, but she kept her composure beautifully. The two girls took seats in two more armchairs while Hiei and Kurama hovered in the background. Kellermeister hovered behind his master's chair in similar fashion to a watchful guard dog.

"Now, I suppose you four would like to know why I called you here. But first, why are there four of you instead of two as the advertisement said?" Mr. Schlimm demanded.

Himizu quickly stepped in, knowing that Ryouko was likely to slip up and explode. "These two men are our bodyguards. They only accompany us when we're dealing with clients. My cohort and I handle all missions on our own. You're only paying for the services of the two of us, those two gentlemen are merely here to oversee negotiations."

"Fine, fine. Now for your mission. As you can see, the members of my family were strong Nazi supporters, and I am upholding their fine tradition. However, when I was young, our home was burglarized and several very valuable Nazi artifacts were stolen. All my life, I have tried to recover those items, but I have never found anyone accomplished enough to do so. However, about an hour ago, Kellermeister saw your advertisement and alerted me. I already know who the burglars were, but their home is very well guarded and no one I have sent has ever even seen the treasure. This is a photo of the family, the Meirschnuppes." He handed a photo to Himizu, who stiffened slightly at the sight. She turned it over and saw an address.

"This is where they currently reside?" she asked.

"Yes. You have three weeks. If you haven't retrieved the artifacts by then, consider yourselves fired. If you succeed, I'll pay you 75 million Euros."

A quick mental calculation assured the girls that in US dollars, this totaled $94,860,000. "You have a deal," Himizu said, shaking the elderly man's hand smartly.

"Excellent. Kellermeister, please show our guests out. And remember, ladies, discretion is advisable. The burglars will most likely have to be killed, but please be discrete. It must look like a tragic accident. You know that Nazis are no longer looked kindly upon by the German people."

"I wonder why…" Ryouko muttered under her breath as Himizu tucked the photo into an inside pocket of her trench coat. The four were escorted out and they climbed into the car and started driving away. Ryouko looked at Himizu. "So what's up with you and the photo? Relatives of yours?"

"How'd you guess?" Himizu asked. Ryouko face-faulted.

"I was kidding! You mean those are relatives of yours?"

"Yeah, take a look. That's my uncle Hans, that's my aunt Gisela, and that's my cousin Otto… who I really wanna murder, by the way. He's a nerdy little brat and he's such a pervert. I saw them once when my parents took me to Europe, not for long, but I wish it could have been shorter… they're such Nazis, it is awful! And the whole time I was there, Otto was ogling the asses of every girl he saw. He was even ogling mine, which was really sick since we're related…barely… I think he's my fifth cousin twice removed or something obscure like that… And Hans is just a Nazi asshole… he has dark theories about how Jews are ruining the world and taking over the economy… Gisela is sweet, but man, you should have heard her cuss me out when I mentioned that I had some Jewish friends… I made a mental list of every word she said, then I yelled them at Hiei earlier."

Ryouko laughed and looked at the trio. Hans was a dark brooding man that looked a lot like Hitler… Gisela was a lovely petite blonde lady… Otto was a stocky blonde with thick black glasses. "I want to murder them now, and I haven't even met them yet… So what's the plan?"

"Well, I may as well renew my acquaintance with my beloved relatives…" Himizu sighed; it wasn't a task she looked forward to. "You can come with me… if anyone asks, you're a sweet little Aryan girl who wouldn't have anything to do with Jews… sorry, but I'm going to need backup on this one, and I don't think they'd let you in if they knew who you really were."

"Ah, well, I'll get to steal from them later, it'll be fun," Ryouko shrugged.

"Kurama, Hiei, I don't know how much you'll be able to help us… you'll probably just have to wait in a hotel for a day or so until we're done with our job, okay?"

The boys shrugged. The situation was way beyond their control by now, they could see that. So why fight it?

The gang pulled up at a charming little house in a pretty suburban neighborhood. The two girls then removed their trench coats and hats, leaving the jeans, t-shirts, and sunglasses. Kurama and Hiei removed their coats, Kurama removed his hat, and Hiei removed his cloak, revealing black pants and a black tank top. They walked up to the door.

"Remember," Himizu cautioned, "let me do the talking." She then knocked.

The little blonde lady from the photo opened the door. "Yes?" she asked, looking down. Recognizing her niece, she smiled joyfully.

"Oh, sweetheart, how are you?" she cried, hugging Himizu.

"Fine, Aunt Gisela. I'm visiting Germany with my friends. This is Terri (AKA, Ryouko), and her boyfriend Harry (Hiei), and this is my boyfriend Karl (Kurama). Terri and I were wondering if we could stay here for a couple days. Harry and Karl don't mind staying at a hotel, but I thought I'd drop in on you and bring Terri with me."

"Oh, sweetie, that's perfectly fine, all your friends can stay if they want! Come in, come in! Hans! Otto! Our niece, Rebeka is here! Come in!" she chirped, hurrying in ahead of them.

"What is your problem?" Hiei hissed at Himizu. She grinned.

"I have to give you guys American names, just deal with it."

"I meant the part about our relationships…"

"Hey, it got her to let you guys stay here too… Deal with it, goddamnit!"

Hiei shook his head in disgust, but at that moment, Otto strolled into the room. A leer appeared on his face as he eyed his cousin and her friend. Himizu and Ryouko rolled their eyes in disgust. Hiei and Kurama both twitched. They closed the door behind them and stepped into the world of the Nazis.

"So, Rebeka, have you listened to my advice and terminated your friendship with that Jewish dirne?" Gisela inquired shrewdly. Himizu didn't even bat an eyelash.

"Of course I did, Aunt Gisela! How could you doubt me? I promised I wouldn't come back until I had done so!"

Gisela smiled and looked at her husband. "See, I told you see was a willing girl, so eager to learn the truth!" Her husband just glared and didn't speak. Gisela ignored him. "Dear, as a sign of my faith in you, I'm going to show you something that no one besides my husband, my son, and myself have ever seen… come on now!" She escorted Himizu out of the room. As soon as Gisela was gone, Hans followed them. Otto continued to stare at Ryouko with that twisted smirk on his face.

"Are you sure you're Aryan?" he asked her. Ryouko kept all negative emotions, such as burning hatred, out of her face.

"Of course I am… why are you asking me?"

"Can I make sure?" he asked, hands twitching slightly. Ryouko's eyebrow twitched… she didn't even want to know what that entailed. Hiei's eyes narrowed slightly. He didn't like the thoughts he was reading from the boy's mind. He gripped the hilt of his katana (which was concealed in his baggy pants), but before things could get ugly, Himizu trotted back into the room. She winked at her friends, and hit her cousin when he touched her ass. Gisela and Hans came back into the room looking pleased with their young niece's interest in their "items"… yes, the Nazi artifacts.

Later that night, the foursome met in the room that Himizu and Ryouko were sharing. They discussed their plan for retrieving the items and escaping. As usual Ryouko and Himizu had a plan. As usual, it was very unnecessarily elaborate, confusing, and almost impossible to pull off… but as usual, it was so crazy it just might work. That night, as the house slept, they put their plan into action.

A/N: Schlimm means evil in German and Kellermeister means butler, also in German… And the Meirschnuppes… schnuppes means thief, I think… and Meir sounds like a Germanified version of my last name, and they're supposed to be related to me, so… yeah. Dirne should mean bitch, hussy, prostitute, etc. But… online dictionaries can be unreliable. But they're German for something, so screw that. Review please! Ja ne!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing... not songs, not people, and not a black Mercedes convertible. (Cries) Oh well, I do own a black car, just not a Mercedes convertible. And I am really not in the mood to write an author's note since this is the second time I've tried to post this stupid chapter, b/c FF dot Net ate it the first time, but now it'll probably post both of them... Grr...

The next day, Kellermeister answered the door and saw to his surprise that the two Chicks in Black and their bodyguards were standing on the doorstep.

"You're back already? Have you given up?" he asked.

"Chicks in Black never return from a mission until it has been completed successfully. We have the artifacts here and the Meirschnuppes have been disposed of," Himizu told him. "Now take us to your boss."

Kellermeister bowed and escorted them in. Mr. Schlimm sat up excitedly when he saw them.

"You have my treasures!!! How on earth did you manage it?"

"It was simple. And they've been disposed of as you requested. The father will be found to have committed suicide by shooting himself with a gun that never fired a bullet, the mother will be found to have drowned herself in a tub that doesn't have enough water to drown a worm, and that dorky perverted teenage son of theirs was killed by eating strawberries laced with cyanide that the cat gave him. Then the cat killed itself so it wouldn't be blamed for the deaths." Himizu nodded calmly as she said all this. Mr. Schlimm looked horrified.

"Why in the hell would a cat give anyone cyanide-laced strawberries? How would the cat get cyanide and strawberries in the first place? Why would it commit suicide afterwards? No one is going to charge a cat with murder! Besides, you two were supposed to be subtle, weren't you? How was that subtle???"

"That's the whole point. It'll be one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of all time. It'll be on TV in every country that possesses that wonderful object. Forensics experts of every types will study this baffling case diligently, searching for the killer, killers, or motive for the cat," Ryouko told the man.

"Of course, they don't realize who they're dealing with. We are brilliant forensic scientists in our own right. We have technology that can erase any trace of evidence that could possibly be used to catch us, including the scent of my perfume. Check this out." Himizu was suddenly moving around the room at an unnatural speed. Her activities were impossible for normal humans to see, but Hiei, Kurama, and Ryouko saw her moving around the room effectively destroying all traces of herself and her three friends. Fingerprints, footprints, trace such as hair and skin cells, and other bits of evidence that forensic scientists could potentially use to find out who has been in a certain location were obliterated, oddly enough to the rhythm of Sean Paul's Temperature (God, I love that song… I love that guy… I love his CD… I listen to it at least once a day… once I listened to it six times in one day… it was wonderful). Finally she stopped directly in front of Mr. Schlimm. "Now, as far as any outsider knows, we were never here."

"Excellent, excellent. Now, where's the treasure?" he demanded eagerly.

"No cash, no treasure. I'm sure we could find plenty of uses for it, should you decide not to pay up…" Himizu said coolly, touching the cloth bag concealed under her coat next to her revolver in case things should turn nasty. To her slight disappointment, they didn't.

"Here. Now, the Nazi treasure," Mr. Schlimm demanded as Kellermeister shoved a bag full of money at the girl. Behind the two men, Ryouko lifted one eyebrow. Himizu inclined her head very slightly as she accepted the cash. Before either of the Germans could react, Himizu had pocketed the cash and drawn her revolver. Ryouko also drew hers. Hiei and Kurama tensed, waiting to see what would happen.

"Sorry gentlemen, but we have an agenda of our own to follow," Himizu said calmly. She shot Kellermeister with two quick blasts. Then, as she was skillfully applying gunshot residue to Kellermeister's hands and clothes and placing the revolver in his hands to make it look as though he had shot himself, Ryouko trained her gun on Mr. Schlimm.

"This is for being a damn Nazi!" she said, smashing his face with her gun. "And this is from all my fellow Jews and other groups of people persecuted by your type," she said, training the weapon on him. His eyes widened in horror and realization before the shot blasted him in the face. The gun was then wiped, Kellermeister's fingerprints were planted on it, it was placed carefully next to his (Kellermeister's) corpse, and the girls stepped back to admire their handiwork.

"Incredible…" Kurama gasped.

"Very cold-blooded. How long have you been in training?" Hiei asked. The girls shrugged. They had never really been in "training", but they could whip ass, so they didn't care. Himizu then led the way down the hall while Ryouko brought up the rear, erasing their traces. When they got outside, Himizu eased the car out onto the road while Ryouko got rid of the traces of the car.

"Everybody in?" Himizu asked as Ryouko sprang gracefully over the door of the convertible. Hearing three noises of assent (from Kurama's polite 'yes' to Hiei's sullen 'hn' to Ryouko's impatient 'yes, start the damn car!'), Himizu slammed down on the gas and they left the gloomy German mansion behind.

"How was the haul?" Ryouko asked. Himizu pulled out the two bags of loot and dumped them in her friend's lap. As Ryouko happily counted the money, Himizu slid out of her trench coat. Underneath it, she was wearing a black tank top and her bare white arms and shoulders made a stark contrast to her black clothes. She adjusted her black sunglasses and turned on a Sean Paul CD at an excessively high volume.

"That was excellent," she said as she headbanged to the music. "This is a nice business."

"Agreed… and we get almost twice the amount of money when we're hired then when we steal the stuff for ourselves," Ryouko said cheerfully, satisfied that Mr. Schlimm hadn't cheated them. "He didn't shortchange us, I'm surprised."

"Well, Kellermeister had a pistol in his pocket… I think he was planning on shooting us in the back as we left… never trust Nazis," Himizu said with a sigh.

"What will your family say when they find out that your relatives are dead?" Kurama asked.

"They won't care…" Himizu replied. "They didn't really like the Meirschnuppes that much. Ooh, we have to check our mail… I'm expecting a letter." She made a quick hand motion and a bundle of letters appeared in her hand. Ryouko took them and glanced over them.

"Hey, you're right! There's a letter from a German law firm informing you that you've inherited all of the money that your relatives had! How'd you do that?"

"Aunt Gisela was so thrilled that I had embraced the Nazi philosophy that she made sure her will was altered so that I would get all the money if I outlived her and Hans and Otto… So let's go get the cash."

A few hours later, the gang was driving away from the little German town with several thousand more Euros. Himizu sighed.

"That was a successful mission… hopefully our next job will be as triumphant."

"We're about to find out," Ryouko said as a small cell phone rang. "Hello, Chicks in Black. Yes? Yes? Sure. We'll be there in a couple hours." She hung up. "We're going to Makai!"

"Awesome!" exclaimed Himizu as she hit a button on the dashboard. The landscape changed to a dark valley in Makai. Hiei and Kurama exchanged glances. The first mission had been bad enough, but what would happen to them in Makai, where there are no rules and only the strong survive?

A/N: Hoped you enjoyed it. Sorry I'm not being more pleasant in my notes, but I'm really tired and frustrated and hoping that reviews will boost my self-esteem... so please review.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Here's the new chapter. I went nuts recently and wrote two new chapters, so I decided to go ahead and post this and maybe I'll post another in a few days... this one's kinda fun, I enjoy it... although personally, I think chapter 5 is better... but that's the next chapter, right now you have this one, and it is very good, so enjoy.

After only a short time, the valley became more treacherous and trees became thicker. Himizu pressed another button on the dashboard and the convertible became a black four-wheeler with Himizu sitting at the handlebars, Ryouko behind her, and Kurama and Hiei perched on the "backseat" that people aren't actually supposed to sit on, but who was going to bust them out in Makai? The four-wheeler had a much easier time navigating the terrain than the convertible did and in no time, Ryouko was pointing out a dark palace.

"Who the hell hired you?" gasped Hiei as he gaped at the palace.

"Someone named Lord Mikoto…" Ryouko said with a shrug. She was busy with a laptop; she seemed to be searching for info about their latest client. Kurama blanched.

"I've stolen from him before, when I was Youko," he said. "Maybe that's why he's hiring us…"

Ryouko looked slightly ill. "Oh crap… Himizu, it's Lizard Man!"

"WHAT???" yelped Himizu, nearly steering into a tree. She screeched to a halt and turned to look. They seemed to be going through top-secret Reiki files on known Makai lords and criminals. How the girls even knew about them, Kurama and Hiei had no idea. They probably didn't want to know.

"Yep… Lizard Man. Good thing we were wearing masks at the time… with a little luck, he won't recognize us and order his guards to murder us on sight!" Ryouko said perkily.

"Dare I ask?" Hiei said.

"Well, why not, we may as well tell you. A year or so back, when Himizu and I were really getting started on our road to being criminal masterminds, we stole this really rare gem from this demon lord that we dubbed Lizard Man! We got away with the gem, but we had to kill about six guards… that was the closest we ever came to getting caught. He actually saw us, but like I said, we were wearing masks at the time, so I don't think he'd recognize us. But you never know. You guys are free to stay outside if you want."

"Are you kidding? Do you have any idea what kind of consequences there would be if two humans died in Makai? Actually, do you have any idea what's going to happen when Koenma and his father get a hold of you two after all the stunts you pull?" Kurama asked them.

"Point?" asked Himizu, as she restarted the four-wheeler and they continued on their way. "Those two are ready to sentence us to eternal damnation as soon as we die, which may be a while since we're immortal… but it is artificial immortality and will probably wear off eventually. What more are they going to do besides sentence us to eternal damnation?"

"There's prison…" Hiei suggested dryly.

"Well, we'll worry about that when it happens. Meanwhile, let's go see what Lizard Man wants, then worry about getting our asses to the fifth dimension alive," Ryouko said. "First though, Himizu and I need to make costume changes. You two are fine with what you were wearing when we worked with that Nazi guy."

Ryouko and Himizu stopped the four-wheeler, hopped off, and spun around. Their jeans and loose tank tops were transformed into very tight-fitting black leather outfits. Both continued to wear their black boots, trench coats, sunglasses, and fedoras.

"Uh… why the tight leather?" Hiei asked as the girls got back on.

"Because, it'll blow their minds… dumb demons… present company excluded," Ryouko told them as they breezed up to the gates of the palace. Their outfits and accessories in place, the gang parked the four-wheeler in a safe location, did the necessary primping, and walked up to the gate.

Lizard-like guards in strange uniforms escorted them to the throne room. Trumpets blew and Lord Mikoto strode forward to seat himself at his elaborate throne. Ryouko and Himizu exchanged eye rolls, but kept straight faces the whole time. The lizard then looked the two girls over.

"So… you are the notorious Chicks in Black… your names are really Ryouko and Himizu, and you are humans with supernatural powers… which you have chosen to use as thieves, assassins, spies, and other such dangerous pursuits, solely for your own gain. You have brought your bodyguards, Shuuichi Minamino, AKA Youko Kurama, and Hiei Jaganshi, both of whom are legendary demon thieves and fighters."

"Aw crap…" Himizu muttered under her breath.

"You two girls have stolen from me before, and so has Youko Kurama… Hiei Jaganshi hasn't yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time, especially since he's chosen to team up with the three of you. You're planning to carry out whatever mission I choose to give to you, then double-cross me as soon as you're paid."

"Shit…" Himizu muttered under her breath.

"Is there anything he doesn't know?" Ryouko wondered.

"I hope you didn't think that I would let myself be tricked so easily. After you two managed to successfully escape from my clutches last time, I have been plotting a way to get rid of you two as a lesson to all despicable characters who think that I am weak and soft. And, how lucky, you two start hiring yourselves out as thieves. What better way for me to get rid of you, by pretending to hire you and dispose of you and any of your associates in that way." The lizard lord began to laugh with pure joy. The two girls merely blinked, as though these were the ravings of a madman. Mikoto stopped laughing as abruptly as he had started. "Take them to Dungeon 13!" he yelled. The guards dragged the gang away down a set of moldy stairs and threw them unceremoniously into a dark, damp, windowless, subterranean cell. They stood up and began to brush themselves off.

"Well that was a load of crap!" Ryouko exclaimed. "I can't believe we walked right into that!"

"Well, we'll just walk right out of it!" Himizu said cheerily.

Of course, you know it's not going to be that easy. No sooner had they started to look around for an escape route, then two walls began to press in towards them. Himizu and Ryouko stood back to back with Kurama and Hiei, watching the walls alertly. Just as things were beginning to get worrisome, the walls froze.

"Okay… what the crap?" Ryouko wondered. They looked around. The door had vanished when the walls began to close in, so now they were looking at two short smooth walls and two long smooth walls. The whole thing creepily resembled a tomb, and it was about as small as one. Then, to make things even better, one of the short walls grew long spikes and began to inch toward them.

"Oh, perfect…" Himizu groaned.

The space was becoming uncomfortably tight. Ryouko and Himizu stood shoulder to shoulder and Kurama and Hiei were shoulder to… elbow... Ryouko was backed against Hiei and Himizu was backed against Kurama. Himizu shivered, uncomfortable with the close proximity and her extremely tight leather. Not to say Ryouko wasn't uncomfortable as well, but Himizu was backed against the guy that turns into Youko. She could feel Kurama's warm breath tickling her ear. Suddenly, though his presence was still behind her, she could no longer feel his breath on her ear. She whirled around, drawing a six-inch knife in one smooth movement and placed the tip of the knife directly between the golden eyes of a tall silver-haired fox man.

"Make one move, kitsune, and you will be one dead Makai-damned bastard," she informed him in a deadly quiet voice. Ryouko's eye twitched.

"Himizu! Not the time!" Ryouko yelled.

"Anytime that this asshole shows up is the time!" Himizu yelled back.

Youko laughed. "I couldn't help it…"

"Oh, screw off!" Himizu exclaimed. "I swear, why do you always show up when I don't want you around? Listen, use that fox brain of yours and get us out of here!"

"Why should I?"

"Fine, you wanna be mincemeat, go ahead, it's not my problem! Argh, this is such a load of crap!" Himizu did a quick spin-move and the tight leather became loose-fitting black pants and a baggy black sweatshirt. Ryouko did the same and was soon wearing an identical outfit. Then Himizu bludgeoned Youko with a mallet to force him to change back into Kurama. Then she beat the crap out of Kurama for letting the fox gain control.

Ryouko finally stepped in and knocked Himizu over. She sat on the floor for a moment with swirly eyes, then began to stare at Kurama. Like she wanted to eat him. Not in the sexual way… She literally wanted to eat him. Like, latch her teeth onto his arm and rip the flesh off of it and chew it up and eat it with blood smeared around her mouth and on her clothes and everything. Yes, Himizu was starting to lose it. Either that or she was more pissed at Youko than anyone had realized. Ryouko whacked Himizu again.

"FOOL! HAVEN'T YOU REALIZED THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE HERE!!!" she shrieked. Himizu twitched. Then she fell over flat on her face. Yes, while sitting down. Don't ask. Ryouko looked livid. Tic marks started appearing and veins began popping on her head and neck. Kurama and Hiei automatically began to scoot away from her.

A massive explosion occurred. Fire flew over everything. Hiei was unaffected, and the fire skipped away from Kurama. An aura of ice appeared around Himizu and she was also unharmed. She stood up slowly, her eyes suddenly icy blue, not the normal sky blue.

"You did not just do that…" she said softly.

"Oh yes I did…" Ryouko snarled.

"You know… this means war…" Himizu hissed.

"Oh yes… I know…" Ryouko growled, an evil smile appearing on her face.

Kurama and Hiei twitched. This was not what they needed right now. But neither of them were stupid enough to get between the girls and their pointless battle.

A/N: Yeah... that was fun. Now we'll see how much longer I can hold on to this creative spurt... maybe it'll let me work on the Evil Overlord List... (shrugs) Review please!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Well, here it is, the much-hyped chapter 5 which is still my favorite one so far, except maybe chapter 6 when we get to... well, you'll find out when I decide to post it. The fic has stalled somewhere around chapter 15 or 16 or something... holy shit, I should post more of these... O.O I didn't realize I was so far ahead... O.O; Anywho... yeah, basically I was crazy depressed for a while and now chapter 15 badly needs a rewrite cuz... well... you just don't want to know what goes through my head when I'm really depressed, so we'll be rewriting chapter 15 and hopefully it will still match up with what little I've written from chapter 16... Anywho... wow, I need to post more chapters from this... (is really stunned, in case you can't tell) And this note is really long so I'll shut up and let you enjoy this really awesome chapter that I really love so I'm sure you guys will too!

Disclaimer: I don't own McDonalds or Yu Yu Hakusho. Or lots of other things, but these are the only ones that are relevent to this chapter... I think...

"It's all your fault that we're in this mess!!!" Himizu hollered.

"My fault? My fault? Why is it my fault?" Ryouko cried.

"You're the one that insisted that we take this job in Makai, even though you know that we've made way too many enemies to expect safety in this land!!!" Himizu shouted.

"You're the one that didn't turn the damn four-wheeler around when I showed you that it was Lizard Man that hired us!!!" Ryouko shrieked.

"Yeah, because I knew you would try to kick my ass!"

"Oh no, there would be no 'try' about it! I would have kicked your ass so bad, your grandkids would have felt it!"

"Ha! You wish, you pansy!"

"Bring it on, witch!"

The two girls drew swords and began fighting furiously. Kurama and Hiei watched with about 500 sweatdrops on their heads.

"Uh… why are they fighting again?" Kurama said.

"Well, I think it had something to do with Youko…" Hiei muttered with a sideways glance at the redhead. Kurama flinched.

"Don't remind me… Himizu's not going to forget that so easily…"

"Hey, she'll get over it… she got over you raiding her room… and the five million times you've sexually harassed her… and the time you were drunk off your ass and tried to rape her AND Ryouko… at the same time…"

"Oh shut up… besides, you were drunk too."

A fireball flying over their heads got their attention. Ryouko was now armed with a flamethrower. Himizu was hopping around, avoiding the flames and laughing like a maniac.

"Ha! You couldn't hit the ground if there wasn't any such thing as gravity!" she laughed, dodging another well-aimed fireball. But the next one would have hit her for sure if she hadn't conjured up an ice shield. "WITCH!!! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!" she yelled as she was covered with water as her ice shield was instantly melted.

"YOU SHOULD, BAKA!!!" Ryouko yelled. "WE LIVE IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD IN NINGENKAI AND IN THE SAME MANSION IN THE FIFTH DIMENSION!!!"

"SHUT UP!!!" Himizu screamed, pulling out a nuke.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL???" Ryouko cried.

"NO, JUST YOU!!!" Himizu yelled, throwing the nuke.

"IDIOT!!!" Ryouko screamed, diving away from the nuke. Luckily, she had been standing with her back to the wall of spikes (remember that? The one that was moving towards them? It's moving very slowly…) The nuke hit the spiked wall, slammed right through the wall, and flew off down the corridor of the castle where it blew up, instantly killing just about everyone in the place. Kurama and Hiei twitched and stared at Himizu. Ryouko stared at Himizu too. "Congratulations, Himizu, you actually did something useful with those nukes for once."

"WOOT!" Himizu exclaimed, punching the air. "Cool! Let's go! And that's not the only useful thing I've done with those. Killing some of Enma's spies with those is also a good use for my little toys."

"Point taken. Okay, let's get out of here, cuz in case you didn't notice, the wall is still moving, but now there's a big hole in it that we can climb out of."

So the group made their way out of their prison and then Himizu and Ryouko pulled out four radiation suits so they wouldn't die from exposure to the aftereffects of the bomb. As they made their way out, Himizu and Ryouko snatched whatever treasure they could find. Eventually they made their way out, passing Lord Mikoto's throne room as they fled. He was dead, of course. Any of his followers that had made it out alive would eventually die of radiation exposure or be killed by roving bands of demons since they were no longer an army. The gang fled to the hidden four-wheeler and drove off. Himizu hit the button that sent them through dimensions. They landed in the fifth dimension and dropped the treasures off in a secret room.

"Well… that was exciting…" Hiei said.

"Yeah… but wasn't it unnecessarily violent?" Kurama asked. The girls looked at him like he was nuts.

"Uh… no!" they said.

"Or did you forget that Lizard Man was going to have us bloodily murdered? It was perfectly necessary!" Himizu reminded him. "Now let's go to Ningenkai and terrify random people!"

"YES!" Ryouko exclaimed, running off to the convertible.

"Oh my lord…" Kurama moaned.

"You know, I always thought I was sadistic, but when I'm around these two… I dunno… I feel a lot less than sadistic," Hiei muttered.

"You should…" Kurama reminded him. "It is Himizu and Ryouko that we're talking about."

About then, the girls started screaming at them to get moving, so the boys ran to jump into the car and they headed off to wreak havoc in Ningenkai.

After an hour or so of scaring innocent bystanders and playing excessively loud music, the girls decided they were hungry. Of course, the only thing within fifty miles was a McDonalds. Although as a rule the girls avoided McDonalds, they DID have good French fries and ice cream… So they went into McDonalds.

Himizu ordered a Mountain Dew, French fries, and an Oreo McFlurry, Kurama ordered a chicken sandwich and a lemonade, Hiei ordered a hamburger and a Pepsi, and Ryouko ordered a hamburger with no tomatoes, French fries, and a Mountain Dew. Pay attention to those foods, this will be important later.

The woman behind the counter was a ditz. Although she got everyone else's order right, she had to mess up Ryouko's. Why anyone would make Ryouko angry is unknown to any of us. But when Ryouko opened her bag of food, she instantly saw a basket of burnt French fries and a sandwich covered with tomatoes. She looked at the woman.

"Excuse me, but you messed up my order. I said no tomatoes on my sandwich. And do you call these French fries? Look at them! They're ashes!" she exclaimed. Himizu snickered. But the smile was wiped off her face at the lady's next words.

"Too damn bad. Pay me already."

"I'm not paying you a cent until you fix my order. When I pay money for food, I expect it to be at least somewhat edible! I realize this is McDonald's, but can't you people at least try???" Ryouko demanded. The woman glared.

"Fine, if that's the way you want to be!" She leaned over the counter and called to two fat cops eating about three hamburgers apiece plus fries and ice cream. "Excuse me, officers, but this young lady refuses to pay for her food!"

The fat cops stood up and made their way over to where Ryouko was standing. "Now really, young lady, just pay this nice woman and go eat your food," one of the cops said.

"You can actually call this slop food? She screwed up my order! I'm not paying her until she fixes it!"

"Then you can pay for two meals," the woman snapped. Ryouko was becoming very pissed. She looked over at Himizu, who, having scarfed her fries and ice cream, was contently slurping her soda. Himizu looked back at her with wide innocent blue eyes.

"Hm?" she asked.

"Himizu… would you care to help me?" Ryouko asked in a deadly calm voice. Himizu perked up. Caffeine and sugar were hindering her already lower than normal level of caution and sanity and she was more than eager to start some chaos. She pulled out two giant machine guns and tossed one to Ryouko, who caught it without taking her eyes off the woman behind the counter.

"CODE RED! CODE RED! WE HAVE TWO ARMED AND DANGEROUS LUNATIC TERRORISTS IN MCDONALDS!!!" one of the cops screamed into his radio.

"I take offense to that. We're not terrorists!" Himizu exclaimed, liberally coating the McDonald's menu and signs with bullet holes while Ryouko screamed incoherently at the terrified waitress and her fellow coworkers. Kurama and Hiei flattened themselves against the wall, horrified by what they were witnessing. Patrons of the restaurant fled screaming in terror. Within minutes, police cars surrounded the restaurant. Helicopters buzzed overhead. The girls continued to destroy the restaurant.

"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!" someone screamed into a megaphone.

"$&# YOU!!!" Himizu screamed at him, popping her head out the door to do so. She nearly had it taken off by a well-aimed bullet, but her reflexes were better. She fired her machine gun at the giant yellow M above her and ducked back inside as the guns outside began to shatter the glass. "Shit… time we weren't here…" she exclaimed. "Damnit Ryouko, where are you!!!"

Kurama pointed in the direction of the kitchen. Himizu scooted off that way. She found Ryouko muttering under her breath as she finished tying up the two cops and the many McDonald's employees.

"So, what's the plan?" Himizu asked her friend.

"Blow the place to the seven hells of Hades," Ryouko snapped.

"Sweet… better hurry, Kurama and Hiei are gonna get shot soon. And I think they called the National Guard."

"Great, I could use some anger management," Ryouko replied.

"Right…" -.- "Okay, then let's get hopping!"

"Okey doke!" Ryouko agreed. The pair exited the kitchen and found an interesting sight. About twenty tanks stood outside the restaurant, aimed at the door. Many soldiers armed with grenades and guns had joined the ranks of the policemen. Kurama and Hiei looked at the girls.

"Now what, geniuses?" Hiei asked as the soldiers began sending tear gas through the spaces that had once held windows.

"First, we free the hostages. Then we blow up the building. Then we ride off into the sunset," Ryouko said. Kurama looked outside. It was just after noon.

"Sunset?" he asked.

"Shut up."

Ryouko and Himizu went to the back door and shoved all the hostages out. The said hostages were bombarded with tear gas for a minute before someone realized that they were bound and unarmed. The terrified ex-captives reported that the place had been taken over by two crazy teenage girls who had been accompanied by two teenage boys. The boys had not helped with the takeover, but they had made no attempt to stop it either. As they spoke, the restaurant exploded in a cloud of smoke and flames. Pandemonium broke out and it was by complete luck that a random foot soldier spotted the foursome race out of the burning building and hop into a black convertible. He noted the license plate number (BADGRLS) and called his superiors. Within minutes, a good old-fashioned high-speed chase was in progress.

Himizu noted the cop cars screeching behind her and laid her foot down hard on the gas pedal. Ryouko kept an eye on the mirror, occasionally muttering comments about their position to Himizu, who acknowledged them with a grunt. Eventually, she made a turn down a narrow road and nearly gave Kurama and Hiei a heart attack or three because she nearly ran into trees or off cliffs or whatever. Finally they stopped.

"Well, we got out of that one okay," Himizu said cheerfully.

At that moment, Koenma appeared. "I've been looking for you two. What on Earth were you doing? You're under arrest!"

Himizu told Koenma to go do something that caused Kurama to look scandalized, Hiei to look surprised that she knew words like that, Ryouko to laugh and high-five her friend, and Koenma to explode with rage.

"THAT'S IT!!! YOU'LL BE IN PRISON FOR ALL ETERNITY!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? AND YOU TWO!!!" he added, turning to Kurama and Hiei. "HOW DARE YOU CONSPIRE WITH THEM??? YOU KNOW THEY'RE CURRENTLY THE TWO MOST WANTED BEINGS IN ANY WORLD!!! WHY ARE YOU HELPING THEM??? YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON TOO!!! DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES???"

"I'm still hungry…" Ryouko muttered.

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter as much as I did! Review please! Ja ne!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hi all! I'll make this brief since Ryouko is here and we are doing all sorts of stuff, including writing fics on our joint profile, make sure you check those out, but since I have a few minutes here and don't when the next time will be, and I'm so far behind in my chapters, I'm going to go ahead and post chapter 6 real quick... I like this one too honestly. (grin) Anyways, enjoy!

The two demons were hurled unceremoniously into a cell. A moment later, a team of about eight ogres came in dragging the two girls. The girls were wrapped in three strait jackets apiece, bound with ropes and chains, gagged, handcuffed, had each of their legs tied to 100 lb weights, and had wards strapped all over them. They were then strapped to the wall with even more chains. Koenma followed the ogres in. He nodded, looking pleased.

"There's no way you girls will be able to escape now!" he said joyfully. The girls looked pissed. Koenma walked out, laughing his head off. The ogres followed. After a few minutes to make sure that Koenma wasn't coming back, Kurama and Hiei removed the gags from the girl's mouths. Himizu instantly let loose with a tirade about what she was going to do to Koenma when she got out of this predicament, Ryouko was actually polite enough to thank the two demons for this small kindness.

"So now what?" she added after her thanks.

"Well, we could stay here, and Hiei and I could serve our six-month sentences and then leave and get on with our lives while you two sit here for the rest of your lives, and then go on to eternal damnation…" Kurama said. At the murderous glares he received from the two girls, he hastened to add, "But Hiei and I wouldn't be that cruel, of course!" He looked nervously at their bonds, wondering how in the world they would be able to get them off without Koenma noticing and sentencing him and Hiei to eternal damnation in the process.

Hiei sighed. "This is ridiculous."

"You're telling us? We're the ones bound up with just about every single type of bondage instrument that can be found in Reiki!!!" Ryouko exclaimed. Himizu muttered something about 'kinky' and Ryouko attempted to maul her, but was severely hampered by her restraints. "You're so sick, do you hear me!!!" she cried, looking shocked. Himizu just blinked innocently. Then she turned back to the two boys.

"Would one of you mind taking off just this one ward on my hand here?" she asked. "Just the one?"

Kurama, seeing no harm in it, removed the single ward. Instantly, he felt a blaze of power fill the room. Himizu laughed evilly.

"That's all I needed. Just having a single hand free allows me to unleash my powers upon the world at my will. A foot would have worked too, but that's harder to control, so then I might accidentally destroy a minor country, which would be simply terrible."

Something told Kurama that she didn't actually care that much, but was pleased to be able to command her powers so freely.

"Now, Kurama, be a dear and stick that ward somewhere else. Koenma will never notice it."

"Never notice it? The whole room is filled with your aura!" Kurama exclaimed.

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that," Himizu said casually. She then masked her energy so well that it was as though she were an ordinary human girl, or at least a successfully warded supernatural one. Kurama sighed, but stuck the ward on her wrist so that it wouldn't be missed.

Ryouko looked annoyed. "We should get some evidence together and sue Koenma for false arrest."

Hiei laughed. "That won't work. First, you can't sue the god of death… second, it's not false arrest."

"We can make a jury think that… not hard…" Ryouko said.

"Or it wouldn't have been until all that TV footage of you guys destroying that McDonalds…"

"Shut up Hiei."

"You know, it's almost impossible to sue a cop for false arrest…" Himizu said suddenly.

"How so?" Ryouko asked.

"Well, you can't sue if you comply… so if you are arrested peacefully, you can't sue."

"Then you fight. Resist. Whatever."

"Then you can be arrested for the crime of resisting arrest."

"… You've got to be kidding me…"

"I'm not! I swear! Look it up!"

"Wonderful…" Ryouko groaned. "Okay, scratch that idea. Let's bust out of here."

"Right…" Himizu said. She paused, head cocked. Then she shook her head. "Someone's coming."

Sure enough, an ogre entered with two trays of food, one for Kurama and one for Hiei. Ryouko sighed. She was still hungry since she never had gotten any food after the attack on McDonalds. Himizu didn't even bat an eye, but she did make a nasty face after the ogre left.

"We need a good plan…" she said. She was moving her hand in odd patterns and her bonds were loosening, releasing her. She slid easily to the ground and lay down on her stomach, freeing Ryouko with her powers as she did so. Ryouko sat cross-legged on the floor next to Hiei, snatching an apple from his tray as she did so. He frowned, but didn't call any attention to it. Himizu's eyes were closed and she was humming Camisado by Panic! At the Disco and seemed to have totally forgotten that they were in Reiki prison. Ryouko poked her.

"Do you realize that this is the second time we've been in prison today…?" she asked.

Himizu's eyes opened. "No, that hadn't occurred to me. Oh well, we'll make up for it… Did you see that little gold statuette of Enma when we came in here?"

"Yeah, I did… the gold is probably worth a fortune…"

"No da… You're responsible for that, Miss Kleptomaniac…"

"Gladly…" Ryouko said with a wicked grin. Then the four turned to the door. They could all hear Koenma's voice.

"Just take off the wall chains, the girls should be kept restrained at all times. My father wants to interrogate them personally."

"Oh joy… I almost want to stay just to talk with the old bastard. You think he remembers the time I told him that Koenma and Botan were making out in a closet?" Himizu asked brightly.

"I think he does… when I checked our files… invalid I might add, since we have our own papers, but that's not the point… when I checked our files, I noticed that he had added another 50 years to your sentence for 'blaspheming the god of death and his heir'…" Ryouko said, grinning.

"Ah, good, that was one of my better moments. I was hoping he wouldn't forget," Himizu said happily. The key was turning in the lock. Ryouko turned to Kurama and Hiei.

"Just stay back. As long as you're not involved when we take them down, they have no reason to think you were involved at all. We'll even swear that Koenma's ogre minions didn't set up the restraints properly. You know how hard it is to get good help."

The two demons flattened themselves against the wall farthest from the door. The girls tensed. The door opened. Koenma and his ogres walked in. Koenma's eyes widened when he saw that the girls were free.

"How did you…?" he gasped. Himizu looked at Ryouko.

"He asks us how we got out… Gimme a break…"

"True dat… he's stupider than I thought."

"Well, then let's go Kung fu on his ass… Jackie Chan style!"

Ryouko was game, so they went Kung fu on Koenma's ass, Jackie Chan style. Then they went Kung fu on the asses of all the ogres, Jackie Chan style. Then they walked calmly out of the cell, leaving Koenma and his ogre henchmen in twitching heaps of pain. Kurama and Hiei stared in horror, but finally followed.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in now???" Kurama yelped.

"And do you have any idea how much more trouble we're about to get into?" Himizu asked, a wicked grin on her face. Kurama and Hiei looked at each other, horrified.

"Yes my dear friends, Himizu is going to go Kung fu on Enma's ass…"

"Jackie Chan style!"

"…while I steal the gold statuette of Enma along with anything else I can find," Ryouko finished as Himizu scooted off to find Enma. "Kurama, would you go with her and make sure she finds her way back here?"

"Hey, I have a much better sense of direction than you do!" Himizu exclaimed indignantly.

"True, but I'm taking Hiei with me. Besides, you might need someone to watch your back since I won't be there."

"True… okay, come on Kurama. But if you try to stop me, I'll go Kung fu on your ass…"

"We know, Jackie Chan style…" Ryouko said, grinning wickedly.

"Onward!" Himizu yelled.

A while later, they met back up. Himizu had made Kurama videotape her going Kung fu on Enma's ass (Jackie Chan style) and Ryouko had nosed out a few dozen treasures that made the Youko within Kurama's brain cry out in delight and jealousy. They then found their black convertible in some random storage area and used it to get back to Ningenkai, where they found more food for Ryouko and then they finally headed back to their mansion in the fifth dimension. Once there, Ryouko and Himizu disappeared into one of the many rooms to get to work doing whatever it was they did with their purloined plunder while Kurama and Hiei fell asleep on a couple couches in front of one of the many big-screen TVs located around the mansion, waiting until the girls came up with another madcap scheme to get them all killed.

A/N: Hehe, Jackie Chan... anyways, review! Don't know when I'll post the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ack. I've been meaning to post this chapter for ages, but I would either forget or I would remember but was too busy. I'm sorry! T.T Anyways, this chapter is a little weird at first, but the saga turned out pretty well, I thought. But you'll see the end of that either next chapter or the chapter after that, I forget when I acutally ended that... Anyways, I'll post the next chapter soon, and I do mean it this time!!! Sorry for the wait, please enjoy the chapter.

Dislcaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, the Russian Mafia, the Beverly Hillbillies, Nikolai Zherdev, or Mathew McConaughey. Which is a damned shame if you ask me.

Himizu and Ryouko walked into the room where Kurama and Hiei were sleeping. The TV was on showing some documentary of some sort. The girls looked at each other, at the sleeping demons, and at the TV.

"What horrible taste they have in television…" Ryouko said finally. Himizu nodded, then walked over and pried the remote from Kurama's hand without waking him up. Then they started channel surfing. After a while, they came across an old episode of the Beverly Hillbillies. A little old lady was talking to a guy. The girls watched with interest as the people talked about another old lady coming to visit. Then a car pulled up with an old lady in it. The first old lady who had been talking with the guy started walking back to the house.

"Where are you going?" the guy asked.

"I'm gonna get my shotgun and perform a mercy killin'!" the old lady exclaimed. Ryouko and Himizu fell over laughing, which woke up the two demons.

"What is your problem?" Hiei asked them.

"That old lady!" Ryouko gasped, laughing even harder.

"I'm gonna get my shotgun and perform a mercy killin'!" Himizu exclaimed in a pretty good imitation of the old lady's voice. This set her and Ryouko off into more fits of laughter. Kurama couldn't help but laugh. It was pretty funny. Hiei tried, but couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching into a grin.

"CHICKEN!!!"

"Holy hell!" Himizu yelped, stopping in mid-laugh and throwing herself under the couch Kurama had been sleeping on.

Ryouko grabbed the phone. "Chicks in Black," she said. "Uh huh… yes… yes… okay… how much? … Okay… All right, we'll be there. Bye." She hung up the phone and glared at the couch that Himizu was hiding under. "Himizu?"

"What?" said a voice under the couch. "Achoo! Boy, it's dusty under here. There are dust rats."

"Uh… don't you mean dust mice?" Kurama asked her.

"No, I mean dust rats. Ain't no mice that #) big!" she said. "And they want cheese."

"Tell them there's cheese out behind that fence with the sunshines and rainbows painted on it outside," Ryouko said. "Then get your ass out here!"

"Isn't that the fence where your killer plants are?" Hiei asked her. She made shushing sounds and throat-cutting motions. Himizu wiggled out a minute later and several dust rats ran off outside. After a few moments, there was a series of loud panicked squeaks, signaling the dust rat's untimely demise.

"So, where are we going?" Himizu asked.

"Russia," said Ryouko, who was taking out several thick black sweatshirts, black fur coats, black hats, black gloves, black scarves, and anything else she might need to keep warm in the cold climate.

"Sweet. Russians are cool… they're good hockey players. Like Nik Zherdev!"

"Uh huh… -.-()" Ryouko rolled her eyes.

"Risu thinks I was molested by Russians."

"WTF?" Ryouko exclaimed, turning to face Himizu.

"I was telling Kitsune that you had been sexually harassed by a Russian and Risu came up to me and asked what the Blue Jackets had done to me now. I was like, huh? And she said that I said that I had been molested by Russian hockey players. I have no idea where she got that idea. Then Pengin asked me if I wanted to be molested by Blue Jackets. I told him he didn't want to know the answer to that. He thought about it for a minute, then decided I had a point." Himizu had a slight grin on her face as she said this.

"-.-()()() You're retarded… Do you realize what the hell you're implying when you act like that???" Ryouko demanded.

"It was just a joke…" Himizu muttered.

"ANYWAYS!!!" Kurama exclaimed, causing the girls to stare at him in surprise. "Tell us more about the mission, Ryouko," he said calmly.

"Right… well, we're going to be working for a rebel group in Russia. They know they have a mole in their midst, and it's up to us to find and kill him."

"Goody. Assassinations are always fun," Himizu said.

Hiei rolled his eyes. "What in the world do you know about assassinations?" he asked her.

"A lot more than you would think. Let's go!"

"You know, I have the strangest urge to listen to Tatu right now…" Ryouko said as they walked to the car. Himizu laughed, and obligingly put on of their CDs in when they got into the car. Then she pressed a button and they were in Russia. Snow blew around them briskly, but the car had no trouble handing the slippery terrain. Ryouko was shivering like mad already and they weren't even outside yet. They pulled up in front of a small office building and stepped out.

The temperature was frigid, well below freezing. Ryouko was wearing at least five layers and was still shaking with cold. Kurama was also wearing many layers and shivering slightly. Hiei was using his fire powers to keep warm, but he was still wearing a pretty thick coat. Himizu was being totally weird though. She was wearing a black sweatshirt and a black coat, but the coat was unzipped and flapping behind her. She was wearing a thin pair of black leather gloves, but appeared to be contemplating taking them off. In short, she was so completely unaffected by the cold that it was unreal. A figure stepped out of the office, wearing a thick coat that made him look almost as much like an Eskimo as Kurama or Ryouko. He took one look at Himizu and twitched badly enough to be seen through his winter gear.

"Are you ze chicks in black?" he asked them.

"We are. I'm Himizu, she's Ryouko. Pleasure to meet you," Himizu held out her hand in its thin leather glove. He looked at it in horror.

"Are you human?" he asked her. Himizu's eyebrows went up.

"Excuse me?" she said.

"She is, she's just stupid and can't feel cold," Ryouko butted in. "I can though, and I guess I make up for both of us. Can we go in please? I think I'm getting frostbite!"

The figure grinned and led them inside. Once inside, they found a much warmer temperature. Everyone took off their coats and other winter gear, and they found themselves facing a very good-looking young man with dark hair and a pleasant smile.

"My name is Maksim. I'm pleased you could come so quickly," he said to them. "Please come this way."

They followed him through a maze of hallways. Finally they reached a steel door. Maksim opened it, but suddenly there was a sound of a scuffle behind him. He turned and found Himizu pinning a man to the wall. There was a gun on the floor next to him and Himizu was holding another gun. She was glaring at the man and her lip curled back slightly.

"Is this your policy, Maksim? To hire people and then have other people come up behind them with guns and all that?" she asked him, eyes still fixed fiercely on the other man's face. Maksim looked at the other man and said a few words to him. The man nodded. Maksim turned back to Himizu.

"I told him you're not Russian. He won't kill you now."

"What about later?" Himizu asked. Maksim didn't know how to reply, but she let the other man loose.

"We exercise extreme caution," Maksim explained. "He was making sure that you weren't enemy agents trying to get into our stronghold. I'm actually more impressed with your skills than I care to admit."

"Right… is that a chauvinistic remark?" Himizu asked. He looked at her blankly. "Never mind. Give us the rest of the facts of our case."

"Okay. The facts are this. We are a small rebel group trying to get rid of our government. It has been completely permeated by the Mafia and we're trying to get rid of the corrupt government and set up a government that will represent the needs of the people."

"Admirable, yet unrealistic. Please continue."

"However, we have reason to believe that we have been infiltrated by at least one member of the Mafia who is passing on information about our most secret plans. We need to find this mole, or moles, and destroy them."

"Our type of work. Excellent. Now, we need the names of all the highest members of your group, specifically anyone who would have access to these plans."

"Of course," said Maksim. He led them to another room and extracted a file. Meanwhile Himizu was poking through some other files.

"Ryouko, I told you Nik wasn't part of the Mafia! Here's his name on one of the member's lists!"

"What? No way! Let me see! Well, my English teacher isn't anywhere in these files, so she must still be in the Mafia."

Maksim looked at them bemusedly. Kurama cleared his throat. "Don't mind them. They're really excellent at what they do, they just don't focus well until they actually get started on the job."

"Of course…" said Maksim. He handed over the file and led them to a comfortable room with soft chairs, a whiteboard, and a large conference table. As soon as he was gone, Himizu sat down at one of the chairs and put her feet on the table.

"I don't care what you say, Ryouko, but that guy is hot."

"Agreed," Ryouko said with a grin. "He had some really nice muscles."

"Mhm… Not Mathew McConaughey muscles, but still…"

"No one has muscles like Mathew McConaughey… no one."

"True that…"

Kurama and Hiei looked at each other with 'we are so doomed' expressions on their faces.

A/N: Yeah... review please!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Yay! Russians! I love Russians! Almost as much as I love Canadians! Um, I don't own any songs, or Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears (which is a huge relief to me since I hate them both, in case you can't tell from my rants), or the Russian Mafia, or James Bond since I think I quote him a couple times in here but forget where and didn't cite it anywhere either. Bad me. Oh well... I'm gonna go download pictures of Blue Jackets!!! Yay! Enjoy!

The girls had finally stopped discussing the sexiness of their "boss" and of random actors or whoever and were now going through the file. Hiei and Kurama were looking over their shoulders.

"How in the hell are you going to tell who are moles with just these files?" Hiei asked finally.

"Dunno…" Himizu said.

"Wonderful… Way to have a plan… You idiots," Hiei shook his head in disgust. Himizu laughed, then drummed her fingers on the table and spread the names and files on the table in front of her. She hummed some random song to herself, and then shook her head.

"It's too quiet. Let's play some music!" she exclaimed, conjuring up a boom box and putting in some CD. After listening to some excellent songs such as Crazy in Love (Beyonce and Jay-Z), Someday (Nickelback), and Here Without You (Three Doors Down), Senorita, by Justin Timberlake started playing. Himizu put down the file she was reading and glared at the boom box. "You've got to be kidding me… JT is so gay…" She paused as JT started singing a girl's part for some stupid part of that song. "And you'd think he would try NOT to sound gay, but noooo…" she added, rolling her eyes in disgust.

"Well, what do you want from him? He's a stupid pop star… he doesn't have the brains to figure out that it's probably NOT a good idea to sound gay," Ryouko said.

"That's true… that must be a rule… that pop stars have to have abnormally low IQ's while still being able to function normally and be able to sort of carry a tune. Talking of stupid pop stars, I heard Britney Spears was pole-dancing with Paris Hilton."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Yeah… And have you noticed her initials… B…S… BS…" Himizu snickered. Ryouko grinned.

"That was nice…" she said.

"Thanks. You know, that guy that just divorced BS, he's pretty smart. He starts out as some backup dancer or whatever and then he gets to bang BS and then when she's done with him, she pays him a crapload of money to leave! That guy had it made! I'm kinda surprised more guys don't do it. I mean, she's so much of a slut. The whole pole-dancing thing… what the hell is up with that? And she says that the media makes her sound like a slut? Gimme a break! She does it all herself!"

"True that."

"You know, I thought for a while that she and JT should get back together, but then I realized that that would be a really bad idea… the children wouldn't have enough brain cells to live… they'd die at birth."

"Ooh, ouch!" laughed Ryouko.

"This is all extremely interesting, but it isn't really helping us right now…" Kurama pointed out.

"Good point. Let's read the files. I'm reading one about someone named Yasha… who's been with the group for years, yadda yadda yadda…" Himizu flipped idly through the pages.

"I've got one named Natalya… also faithful, been with the group for years…" Kurama scanned the pages and placed the file aside.

"I've got one for Alana, who has also been with the group for years… yeesh, this is starting to sound like a form sheet," Ryouko muttered.

"I've got one for Viktor who's been with the group for about two months… joined because his mother wanted him to… Sounds like a winner," Hiei said in a bored way.

"Well, it's the best thing we've got, so let's go spy on the guy!" Himizu said perkily. She took off running down the hall and had to execute a nifty gymnastics move to avoid colliding with the same man that had tried to collar her when they'd arrived. He jerked his gun out and pointed it at her head before realizing who she was.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I could have shot you!" he gasped. Himizu smirked.

"You could have killed me if you had taken the safety catch off," she said. The guy winced. She laughed softly and walked off. Ryouko slapped her forehead and followed her friend. Kurama and Hiei exchanged looks and followed the girls. After about twenty minutes of walking, Kurama and Hiei realized that the girls didn't have the slightest idea where they were going. Finally they found Maksim.

"Hey, Maksim, where's Viktor?" Ryouko asked.

"Viktor? Why do you want to talk to him?" Maksim asked.

"Because we heard he had a great recipe for chili con carne," Himizu said sarcastically. "Where is he?"

"He's meeting with some of our agents that have infiltrated the Mafia. I'd advise against going and disrupting their meeting. The last guy who dropped in uninvited went home on air freight… in very small boxes."

"I bet they'll drop us off first class!" Himizu said brightly. "Please direct us." Maksim shrugged and told them where the meeting was. And off they went.

The meeting was behind a large door, which was, of course, closed and locked. So the girls picked the lock and then had a brief debate in their heads whether they should go for stealth or just bang right in. As usual, stealth just wasn't as much fun, so they just banged right in, much to Kurama and Hiei's dismay. Inside, Viktor was showing the Mafia agents confidential documents about how the small rebel group was planning their next attack. Everyone in the room jumped up.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" demanded the man closest to them.

"So sorry, forgot to knock!" Ryouko said, whacking him in the back of the head with the butt of her gun. Naturally, pandemonium broke out. Ryouko and Himizu took advantage of this by creating even more pandemonium by screaming battle cries and taking on different voices to throw the Mafia members into even more confusion. Hiei managed to remind the girls of their mission and Ryouko found her way through the crowd and put a bullet directly in Viktor's brain. The sound of a gunshot jerked the Mafia members out of their panicking and they stopped and stared at the two teenage girls who stood next to the body of the double agent.

"I think we got their attention," Himizu said happily.

"Are you two out of your minds?" Kurama hissed. "They're trained professionals and they outnumber you four to one."

"Yes, but when you guys join the fight, it's much more fair," Ryouko told him.

"Wonderful… why do we do these things?" Kurama asked Hiei.

"Because we're stupid and they're persuasive," Hiei snapped.

"What?" Kurama exclaimed.

"We're stupid because we keep going back to hang out at their mansion even though we know that something bad is going to happen because it always does and they're persuasive since they mange to keep me from killing them and they use force and insanity to make their point and render us unable to refuse their idiotic, demeaning, and hazardous requests," Hiei explained Ryouko threw her arm around the fire youkai.

"Hiei, that is the longest sentence I've ever heard you utter. Ever," she told him. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"We can discuss Hiei's horrible lack of ability to verbally articulate later, but right now I think our time would be better spent figuring out how to deal with the army of pissed off Mafia minions," Himizu told them.

"I thought I told you to stop eating dictionaries for breakfast!" Ryouko exclaimed. Himizu stuck out her tongue. Kurama and Hiei exchanged annoyed looks. The Mafia members stared in shock. They were probably stunned that two totally insane girls could have thrown them into such chaos and killed their double agent. Ryouko and Himizu then snapped to attention.

"All right, our mission is complete! Now to collect the reward!" Ryouko exclaimed.

"You're mercenaries?" one of the Mafia members exclaimed.

"Actually, we're meerkats," Himizu said. Ryouko slapped Himizu in the back of the head.

"Shut up, fool. Yes, we're mercenaries, if that's the way you want to put it."

"Then, you are for hire?" another one asked.

"We might be," Ryouko said.

"Then we want you to destroy this rebel group," another Mafia man said.

"You want us to accept money from our current employer and then turn around and destroy him and his group? That is so low and underhanded! I shall consider it," Ryouko said. She grabbed Himizu's arm and dragged her over to the side of the room. They had a brief whispered conference. Then they took their places in front of the group.

"We've come to a decision," Himizu announced.

"And it is?" the Mafia men asked.

"We'll do it. But you have to pay us up front. 10 million dollars, right now, or no deal," Ryouko told them. The Mafia men held a brief whispered conference, then handed over the money. The girls counted it quickly, then stuffed it away beneath their sweatshirts.

"Stay here. We'll be back," Himizu told them. They walked out of the room and started off to the last place they'd seen Maksim. Kurama and Hiei followed.

"What are you thinking? How can you be so cold-blooded?" Kurama asked angrily. The girls smiled evilly.

"Oh, Kurama, you're so short-sighted. There's much more at stake here then you can perceive," Ryouko told him.

"Such as?" Kurama asked.

"Control of the Mafia for one thing," Himizu said with an evil grin. "Besides, there is no way we could compromise ourselves by double-crossing someone as drop-dead gorgeous as Maksim."

Ryouko nodded. Kurama and Hiei slapped their foreheads.

"So what are you going to do?" Hiei finally asked.

"Collect our dough from Maksim, then we'll go back to the Mafia guys, inform them that there has been a tragic turn of events, make them take us to their leader, and we'll take over using our brilliant strategies and superior fighting skills," Ryouko said happily.

"Oh great. Another "foolproof" plan," Kurama muttered as they hurried on.

A/N: Hope you liked, I'll try to post more soon since I have about 10 chapters waiting to be posted... Review please!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hello all. I'm sorry I haven't posted. I'm at least 8 chapters behind right now, and I don't know why I haven't posted anything. The only excuse I can think of is that I'm just so sick of this fic that I don't even want to post it. Actually, I'm getting to the point where I hate all my ideas for this fic, and there's a point later in the fic where I hate about three or four chapters in a row... so I dunno what I'm gonna do there. But that's in the future, and I'll post a couple chapters over the next week or so, we'll see what happens. Please enjoy.

The girls walked into the room where they found Maksim poring over several documents. He glanced up when they walked in, ran his hand through his thick hair, and smiled. "Did you find the mole?"

"Yep. He's dead. We'll bring you his head if you want, although I can't for the life of me figure out what use you could have for it. It's not like you can display it like a trophy, and those things start to stink after a few days," Himizu said. Maksim winced, but was already rummaging through his desk drawers.

"I'm afraid I'm having some difficulty collecting the funds we agreed upon," he admitted sheepishly. "The fight against the Mafia is draining our funds so rapidly…"

"Don't worry about it!" Ryouko said pleasantly. "We've been rewarded enough. But I would be a lot more careful when you find some supposed double agents… They're rather disloyal I've noticed."

Maksim smiled wearily as he handed over some cash. "Duly noted. Thank you so much," he said pleasantly.

"Thank you. Good luck with your revolution!" said Himizu perkily. They headed off back to the room where the Mafia men were waiting. Then the two girls pulled out two large machine guns.

"Gentlemen, there's been a rather tragic turn of events. Himizu seems to have fallen in love with Maksim, so to keep this alliance that we've formed, we've decided to take over the Mafia instead," said Ryouko.

"Since when was I in love with Maksim?" Himizu exclaimed in confusion. "Last time I checked, he wasn't a hockey player!"

"Good point. You're too demented to fall in love with someone who's not a hockey player," Ryouko said. She fell over as Himizu clubbed her with the machine gun.

"What the bloody hell do you know about it?" Himizu exclaimed. "You keep falling in love with Anime characters!"

"At least the guys I like are normal!" Ryouko exclaimed.

"Normal! Well sooorrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy! Excuse me while I go play the grand piano! I have an appointment with the Queen of England! We're going to have tea and biscuits! Aren't we uppity today!" Himizu yelled at her friend and ally. And please note, she was yelling in a British accent. This is why she should not watch too much Monty Python.

"When you two are finished arguing, maybe you'll notice that the Mafia guys have pulled out guns and they don't seem interested in letting us leave this place alive," Kurama told them. The girls scowled, then glared at each other so fiercely it was a wonder that they didn't burn holes in each other's heads. One of the Mafia men coughed. The girls turned their furious gaze on him and he fell to the ground with a hole in his head. Apparently the girl's glares were equally powerful and they cancelled each other out! Then they turned their guns on the rest of the Mafia dudes, but they were now totally freaked out. After all, in their minds, the girls had just killed someone using magical mind control powers! How scary is that! One of the men took charge though.

"To action!" he yelled.

"We surrender!" the rest of the men cried, putting their hands in the air.

"Not that action, you idiots!" the man screamed. The girls ignored him and tied up the rest of the men. Then they tied up the loudmouth who was attempting to be leader but doing a very bad job of it.

"All right, now you guys have one chance to save your lives!" Himizu called to them. "Take us to your leader!"

So, for fear of death, the Mafia men took the two girls and their demon companions to a large mansion that served as the headquarters of the Mafia.

"Fancy," said Ryouko. They walked in and were escorted straight to the room where the head honcho was sitting. He listened as the girls calmly listed out the terms of surrender, which was basically that he had to hand over supreme control of the Mafia to them or else the whole establishment would come crashing down on his head. He laughed his ass off at them, and told them that if they weren't out of his mansion in five minutes, he would see to it that they took several hours to die. So the girls walked out of the room, much to Hiei and Kurama's surprise.

"Why are we leaving? I thought you two would do anything to control the Mafia," said Kurama.

"And what was that crap about bringing the Mafia down on that guy's head? Give me a break, even you two can't do that," said Hiei.

"We know. We weren't going to. We want to bring the mansion down on his head!" said Himizu cheerfully.

"Oh… well, unless I've greatly underestimated your firepower, you can't do that either," Hiei told them.

"Right again. But you can," Ryouko said.

"I…what? Why would I do that?" Hiei exclaimed.

"To thoroughly piss them off. That's what you like doing, isn't it?" Himizu said. "Plus, it'll make Ryouko happy," she added as an afterthought. The pair turned to glare at her furiously. She sweatdropped, then ducked into a nearby room to avoid their wrath. Of course, with the amazing luck she has, it just happened to be the room that contained all of the Mafia's super-important records, plus all their loot. So Ryouko and Hiei decided not to kill her after all and they got all this vital substance out of the mansion. Once they were safely outside, they started loitering around on the sidewalk out front. Two guards with sniper rifles were watching them carefully. Ryouko turned to Hiei.

"All right, they've got their eyes on us. We've only got one chance to make this work, so let's do it right."

"You realize that using our powers in the human world is forbidden unless it comes under one of the exception clauses, which I'm pretty sure this doesn't?" Kurama said.

"Hush," Himizu said flatly. "Trust us with this, why don't you?"

"Trust you?" Kurama laughed. "Need I remind you of all the abuse we've suffered at your hands? Why are you asking me to trust you?"

"Well, it doesn't really matter what you think, since it's not your powers we're using and abusing!" Himizu told him as Hiei suddenly sent his black dragon careening off on a wild rampage. The dragon engulfed the whole building in a mass of flame. There were screams and shrieks of pain, then the dragon vanished and the charred structure stood still for a moment before Kurama sneezed and the building fell to the ground in a heap. Himizu and Ryouko both fell over laughing their heads off at this. Hiei and Kurama looked at each other, both feeling slightly annoyed. Then the girls stopped laughing and they stood calmly likely the deadly pros they were supposed to be. After a few moments, Mafia members started appearing from various nearby buildings, staring in shock at the remains of the building that had been their headquarters for so long. Then they stared at the two girls and their male companions. Finally one of the men approached the girls.

"You've destroyed our headquarters and annihilated our leaders," he said. "By Mafia tradition, assassinating our leader makes you our new leaders."

"Cool beans!" exclaimed Himizu. "That is so awesome!"

"Do you have any orders for us now?" asked the man who had approached them.

"Stop fighting with the rebel group. We'll draft a letter to their leader saying that the fighting is over," said Ryouko.

"We'll look over your records and come up with more official decisions later, but we have work to do first," Himizu said. "But the cease-fire is effective right now. If we find out that anyone kept up the attack, I'll use his head to decorate a room in our mansion."

The man nodded coolly and retreated. Himizu started laughing again.

"I'd say this mission was a success… and now we've finally established a permanent Russian base!"

"Well all I'm saying is that you're the one who's gonna be making the personal visits! There is absolutely no way I'm ever coming back to this God-forsaken frozen wasteland!" Ryouko exclaimed, shivering miserably. Himizu laughed yet again and the group jumped back into the convertible.

"You know what we should do?" Ryouko said as Himizu turned on Headstrong by Trapt.

"What?" Himizu asked, already becoming distracted by the music.

"We should go and visit Risu and Master X."

Himizu turned slowly to look at Ryouko. She stared at Ryouko for so long that the car started swerving and very nearly drove off a cliff. Kurama and Hiei hid miserably in the backseat while Ryouko screamed at Himizu to stop being an idiot and pay attention to the damn road! Himizu glanced vaguely at the road, turned the wheel just a bit to the left and they could actually feel the wheels hum against the edge of the road right before it would tumble off the cliff. Hiei and Kurama both winced.

"Do we have to?" asked Himizu.

"Yes! Master X promised that he'd have more stuff for us by this week!" Ryouko said, looked eager.

"Good point. Master X always has good stuff."

"Um… who's Master X?" asked Kurama. He knew that Risu was a psychotic friend of the two girls who was interested in Naruto (the show, not the guy… she prefers Gaara, or Kiba if Gaara isn't around) and world domination. If he'd had to pick any of the girls or their friends for a crazy plan to be secret agents or whatever, he would have picked Risu, but obviously that hadn't happened.

"Master X is our weapon's master. He's very interesting. Risu is his assistant. She used to be in on this thing with us, but she was ultra-destructive, so we finally got Master X to make her his assistant, which seems to work out quite nicely for both of them. Although in some ways, the fact that she makes our weapons is scarily ironic, but we try not to think about that too much," Himizu said.

Kurama nodded. The fact that the girls had their own weapon's master scared him more than he'd like to admit, but since they were set on this, he just wasn't going to say anything about it.

A/N: Hope you liked. Again, sorry for the delay. Unfortunately, I have to say that you can probably expect another long period of waiting, and I apologize. I'm hoping for a few reviews, but to be frank, I'm not that optimistic, so any that you send me will be greatly appreciated.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hello all, I know it's been forever and a century or three since I updated. However, good news for you guys, two great things have happened to me lately. First of all, I'm going up to Canada to meet up with Ryouko, so I'll have two solid weeks of hanging out with my best friend in the whole world and writing fanfictions with her. Second is that I finally bought a laptop so I'll actually be able to work on my fics in Canada. The trip is in about three and a half weeks, so sometime within the next month or so, you might see more updates from me. And I know we all love that. And you all know the drill, I don't own anything except my OC's, which do include Master X and Risu. Enjoy!

The convertible screeched to a halt in front of a drab-looking warehouse. Kurama and Hiei both looked at the building skeptically.

"THIS is where your inventions are made? It seems a bit… low-class for you guys… A step down, you might say," Kurama said.

"Point?" asked Himizu. "Let's just say, looks can be deceiving." She punched a code into a control on the door and it creaked open. The foursome walked in and Hiei and Kurama were instantly stunned. The whole place was about as high-tech as you could possibly get. A girl stood at a lab bench nearby. She was wearing many chains around her neck, goggles, and a Naruto shirt under a lab coat, and was taking careful notes as little flashes of electricity danced between two poles, touching some unidentifiable object in between them. She glanced up at them and scurried over to them. She stood directly in front of Himizu with her finger extended right between her eyes, not quite touching Himizu and she had a psychotic smile on her face. She held that pose for several seconds as Himizu glared at her in annoyance. Then the girl exclaimed,

"POKE!"

Kurama and Hiei twitched. The girl grinned and walked back to the lab bench. Himizu and Ryouko followed.

"What've we got here, Risu?" asked Ryouko.

"It's a neat little weapon. It's like one of those light sabers that they use on Star Wars, but it'll vaporize your enemy. Or at least, the part that you touch. Like, we can make his arm disappear or something."

"Interesting. Does it kill them, or will we end up fighting someone invisible?"

"WHAT PART OF VAPORIZE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?? THEY WILL NO LONGER EXIST!! THEY WILL BE NO MORE!!" Risu screamed. Ryouko twitched.

"Alright, we get it… sounds cool. Where's Master X?"

"Oh, he's around. He was working on those invisibility/anti-gravity belts for you guys. He won't let me touch them though."

"Wonder why…" Himizu muttered sarcastically. Risu glared.

"Hey, there he is! How's it going, Master X?" Ryouko exclaimed. Kurama and Hiei looked, and both nearly fell over.

Master X was a gray squirrel. A gray squirrel wearing a lab coat. And really really big glasses that were almost too big for his head. He nodded to them as he walked in. "Ryouko, Himizu, how are you two doing?"

"Fine, Master X, how are you?"

"Well, yes, very well. I rather wish you hadn't given me this assistant though, all she wants to do is watch TV, yes, watch TV and read Naturo manga.

"What's wrong with that??" cried Risu. Master X shook his head and sighed.

"Still, she is a capable assistant. Yes, very capable."

"That's good," said Himizu. "How are the new belts coming?"

"Much to my joy, yes, much to my joy, they are finished. I was hoping they would be finished by the time you arrived here, yes I was hoping, and it worked out perfectly, yes, perfectly."

"What about weapons?" asked Ryouko.

"The sabers that Risu has been working on should be done soon, yes, soon. I think we have all the kinks worked out, yes, all the kinks."

"Excellent. How soon is soon?" asked Himizu, looking eager to get one of those things in her hands.

"Should be in les than an hour, yes, less than an hour. In the meantime, you'll have tea with Risu and myself, yes, you will have tea," Master X said cheerfully.

"Sounds good. Then you can give us the belts, show us a demonstration of the saber, then we'll probably have to be on our way."

"That is fine, yes, perfectly fine," Master X agreed. "Now, come with us, yes come with us, and bring your friends, yes, bring them along."

So they drank tea and ate cookies. Master X listened intently, and Risu listened rather jealously, as the two girls described their recent adventures. Himizu pulled a deck of Uno cards out of her pocket and she and Risu started playing WTF Uno while talking. (WTF Uno is played the same as regular Uno, except there's no deck, so whoever has to draw a card first loses, and any Draw-Two cards become Skips instead. We play it all the time.) Master X couldn't help but smile as he listened to them, and nodded calmly.

"I can see why you wanted these new weapons, yes, I can see why…" he said. "I think the saber should be done now, yes I think so."

"Translation, he wants to get back to playing Doom on the computer," Risu whispered to Himizu. Himizu cracked up, and didn't even mind when she had to throw her cards in seconds later. Then they all walked over to where the sabers were waiting.

"Risu, you will help me demonstrate, yes?" asked Master X. She nodded and grabbed an ordinary saber. "We've spent months perfecting this, yes months," Master X continued as he grabbed one of the new ones.

"Have you tried it out on anyone before?" Ryouko asked.

"No, she's the first, yes the first," Master X said, smiling evilly. Risu twitched, but tossed her hair back over her shoulder and fought him anyways. Master X swung at Risu and she deflected him. The saber blade went through a table and the table was vaporized at once.

"Nice…" said Himizu happily. Master X nodded.

"And here's the manual for the invisibility/anti-gravity belts. You should be able to shoot through it in a couple of hours, yes a couple of hours."

Ryouko pulled out a dueling pistol and shot the volume of papers. "It only took a couple seconds, Master X," she said.

"Wish I could make you vanish, yes I wish…" the squirrel muttered.

"Well, thanks a lot, Master X! We'll be off now!" Himizu exclaimed quickly, grabbing a small box of the belts and two of the sabers. The blades had been retracted, so they looked like small black cases about the size of something you would put a pair of glasses into. The two girls waved good-bye to Risu and then they headed out again, followed closely by Kurama and Hiei.

"You two know some really freaky people," Kurama told them as they closed the doors to the warehouse.

"Indeed we do. Doesn't Master X have one of the coolest dialects ever?" said Himizu, grinning.

"Where'd you pick him up?" Kurama asked.

"Where do you think? We created him in our lab! We needed someone with nimble paws and a lighting-fast brain. The pandas just wouldn't cut it…" Ryouko said, shaking her head. Hiei snorted with laughter.

"Okay, let's head back to the mansion. We should test out these sabers," said Himizu.

"Uh, did you two forget the part where it will vaporize you?" asked Kurama.

"No. We're going to test them out on our prisoners, then we'll try to make some sort of protection so won't accidentally vaporize ourselves. You know, this'll be really cool to use when breaking into places, we can vaporize the doors and stuff," said Ryouko. The girls grinned in a really psycho kind of way. The guys winced and decided to avoid them for a while. So they went back to the mansion. Kurama and Hiei watched several James Bond movies while Ryouko and Himizu worked.

(Hours later)

Hiei and Kurama were still watching TV. Both heard a noise, but neither one paid attention, figuring that something had escaped and was wandering around. Then suddenly Kurama had a pillowcase forced over his head and Hiei had water dumped onto his face. As they both floundered to see who had attacked them, they heard the sound of hysterical laughter. But when they looked around, no one was there.

"What the…?" exclaimed Kurama.

"If they're wearing those damn invisibility belts…" Hiei muttered. He fell off the couch as Ryouko phased into view right next to him, behind the couch. Kurama turned around fast, just in time to see Himizu phase into view right behind his couch. She was cracking up, which was no surprise.

"The belts work…" said Kurama finally.

"That they do, that they do!" said Himizu. "So do the sabers. It's so cool!" She smiled as she tugged at her black leather jacket. The black belt, decorated with silver beads, was tucked snugly around her waist, against her black jeans. "The silver beads are not only cool, they also hide the invisibility and anti-gravity buttons."

"A fashion statement that is useful… isn't it great?" said Ryouko, adjusting her identical outfit and hopping over the couch and pulling Hiei back onto the couch.

"Are the sabers as successful?" asked Kurama.

"You bet. We found out that can even vaporize parts of walls and everything. Very useful for some of our adventures," said Himizu happily. Kurama and Hiei exchanged glances. They were stunned when the girls handed each of them belts with silver designs on them as well.

"Whoa… You're planning to trust us with these?" asked Kurama.

"You'll need them, I'm sure," Ryouko said calmly. "Besides, as long as we're wearing these belts, we can see you, even if you turn invisible. So don't try anything. Especially you, Hiei-chan."

"Do we get the swords too?" he asked.

"NO!! Gods no! Do you think we're stupid??" Himizu yelped, looking stunned. "These amazingly powerful sabers that could allow you to vaporize one of us? Heck no we're not giving them to you!"

"Nuts…" Hiei muttered.

"That we are, but not that nuts…" Himizu muttered. "No flippin' way…" Ryouko laughed at this and they all settled down to fall asleep in front of the TV until the next mission.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Yes, I'm fully aware that it's been over a year since my last update and for that I'm sorry. I've been basically dried up in terms of fic writing and have only recently rediscovered my creative spark, thanks to help from Risu and various circumstances, including finishing my freshman year of college. So hopefully I'll have a productive summer. Also, I have to confess that this chapter and the next chapter or so after it were written last summer while Bush was still in the White House but I didn't publish them right away cuz I wasn't comfortable with the idea and I like to have at least a 5 chapter buffer between my current chapter and my published chapter. Since I've hit that, I'm posting this, and I may post another one or two sometime within the next week or so. So please enjoy and thanks for coming back to me!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, you really should know this by now.

Kurama opened his eyes and looked around. He was lying on a couch and the TV was showing some random show about some guy named Jeff Corwin who was talking to some small furry animal that was trying to bite his nose off. (Hehe, that's what's on the TV right now… Jeff Corwin is so funny.) Hiei and Ryouko were on the couch next to him. Hiei had put the footrest out in front of him, and was leaned back in the couch. Ryouko was curled up next to him, head resting on his shoulder. His head rested on hers. Kurama grinned slightly, then turned to look for Himizu. She was already awake and she was reading a large collection of Agatha Christie stories. She had a digital camera sitting next to her and she was listening to her MP3 player, lips moving as she read her book and listened to her music. For a moment, he wondered whether she was mouthing the sentences or the lyrics, but that question was answered when she actually articulated a few lines.

"_When I see you cry… it makes me smile… yeah it makes me smile…_" she sang to herself, then slipped back to the silent headbanging. (Smile, Lily Allen) Kurama rolled his eyes. She really seemed to enjoy tormenting people.

CHICKEN!!!

Ryouko and Hiei were both rudely jerked awake. Interestingly, Himizu didn't move an inch. Ryouko snatched the phone.

"Chicks in Black!" she said, sounding pretty alert considering the fact that she'd just woken up. "Okay… okay… sounds interesting. We'll take it." She hung up and turned to look at Himizu, who was still humming to herself.

"_So wear me like a locket around your throat… I'll weigh you down, I'll watch you choke… you look so good in blue…_" she sang. (Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, Fall Out Boy)

Ryouko sighed. "Good Lord… she must have that music up really loud, since she can't hear the phone." She walked over, but paused when she saw the digital camera.

"What's this?" she asked aloud, reaching for it. Himizu's hand shot out and snatched the camera out of Ryouko's reach. Ryouko was instantly on alert. "What have you been doing with that camera?" she asked.

"Nothing!" said Himizu, just a little too innocently. Ryouko snarled and lunged for the camera. They scrapped for a few minutes, and the fight ended with Ryouko wrenching the camera out of her friend's hands and hopping away so that she could look at the last picture taken, which happened to feature Hiei and Ryouko sleeping as described earlier. Ryouko was understandably pissed off. She started screaming at Himizu angrily. Then she paused.

"You know, this is actually a really cute picture. Can you print me a copy so I can put it in an album?" she asked.

"No problemo. So, who called?" Himizu asked, pleased that things had turned out so well.

"Uh, I dunno, he was some important politician in America…" said Ryouko, shrugging. "His address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue…"

"WHAT???" shrieked Himizu. "Oh gods, we're going to be assassinated…"

"Huh?" asked Ryouko.

"HELLO!!! THAT'S THE WHITE HOUSE!!!" cried Himizu. "DUBYA IS A MANIAC!!! HE'S GONNA WANT US TO COVER UP ANOTHER OF HIS BLUNDERS, AND THEN WE'LL DIE ANONYMOUSLY IN A TRAGIC ACCIDENT!!!"

"Interesting… does he do that now?"

"Probably. I'm not too sure… The whole 'classified' thing is tough… I still haven't managed to hack into their files yet, but I'm sure there's a wealth of knowledge contained in those files… so many conspiracy theories that will be fulfilled…"

"Oh Gods…" Ryouko groaned. "Paranoia… another side effect of hunger." She handed Himizu a Snickers. Himizu chucked it at Ryouko, but she ducked and it flew over the couch, barely missing Hiei, and slid under a table, where it was later found by the robot servants and was fed to the wombats.

"Well, let's get going… It's not good to keep death waiting…" Himizu said gloomily. Ryouko rolled her eyes. The two girls did little spin moves and ended up wearing crisp black suits, shiny black shoes, and black sunglasses. They snapped their fingers and Hiei and Kurama were wearing identical outfits.

"All good? Perfect," Ryouko said with a smile. They jumped into the convertible and were off. In short order, they were driving through Washington DC. There was a large traffic jam, as apparently there was some sort of parade going on. Ryouko kept checking her watch. They were going to be late, and that would not reflect well on the Chicks in Black. Himizu sighed in annoyance.

"Okay, we're taking a shortcut, goddamnit!" Himizu exclaimed. She steered the car hard to one side and the next thing they knew, they were flying along through the National Mall, causing tourists to scatter in a panic. Ryouko took the opportunity to get a perfect photo of the Washington Monument, then grabbed hold on the dashboard as Himizu took a sharp turn.

"HIMIZU!!!" she shrieked. "You have a license to kill, not to break traffic laws! Getting arrested in not a good idea!!! Especially since it'll make us late!" That gave Himizu pause. She sighed, but executed a smooth turn and slid back onto the road. Already they could hear sirens as the police, and possibly the Secret Service, came to track down the lunatic driver. Himizu quickly pulled up to the White House, showed a pass, and was allowed in. As the gates closed behind them, at least half a dozen motorcycle cops blew past. Himizu and Ryouko grinned at each other and high-fived. Kurama and Hiei groaned and sank lower into the backseat.

The foursome was escorted into the Oval Office by a large man wearing a black suit and shades similar to those that they were wearing. President Bush was sitting at his desk waiting for them. He stood and held out his hand for them to shake, but none of them took up his offer. He resumed his seat. The girls sat down across from his and the boys stood behind them.

"You are sworn to confidentiality on this, of course," the president said calmly. "No one must ever know, especially any member of the media or any American citizen." Himizu's eyebrow twitched, but she showed no other reaction. "I suppose you know all about the events of September 11th and the subsequent War on Terror?" he asked.

"Naturally. We don't live under rocks," Himizu said. He nodded.

"Well, then you also know the American public no longer supports the War on Terror as they used too."

Himizu rolled her eyes behind her shades. This was news to him? Sheesh.

"So because of this, a previously important member of our campaign has become… dispensable," the president explained.

"Indeed…" said Ryouko thoughtfully.

"Yes… You see, Osama bin Laden was killed during the first few days of the War on Terror."

"WHAT?" cried Himizu.

"Yes, we even have his head in a jar… Dick Cheney insisted…"

"He would…" she muttered under her breath.

"However, we had some sources claiming that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, and we wanted their oil anyways, so we had to convince the American people that bin Laden was still alive and plotting more attacks. So we hired a double to make tapes threatening more attacks on America. So the people were frightened and more than willing to support the war."

"You filthy, lying no-good SOB…" Himizu whispered under her breath, fist clenching.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" the president asked, looking at her quizzically. She pasted a charming smile on her face.

"No sir. Please continue," she said.

"Okay then, now that the American people have turned against the War on Terror, we have decided that our bin Laden look-alike is now expendable. So we've decided to hire you to take him out. We'd do it ourselves, but he has some powerful weapons, and is clever… in his own unique way… We think he'll be an appropriate challenge for you."

"Sounds good. You know his approximate location?" asked Ryouko.

"Actually, we attached a GPS chip to his body when he was hired. It was set to blow him up when we were finished with him, but he disabled the bomb. However, he couldn't remove the GPS, so we know where he is." The president gave them the code, and a GPS so the girls could track this agent. "I think that's all… we'll work out your payment when you bring back proof that he's dead."

"Agreed. We'll be in touch," Ryouko said. She and Himizu stood and they left quickly. Himizu was trembling with rage.

"That sick bastard. Not only does he steal two elections, not only does he start an unnecessary war, but he deliberately misleads the American people!!! What's happened to democracy, goddamnit?"

"No idea, sorry," Ryouko said sympathetically. "But can he make this any easier for us? Why is he sending us?"

"There's something he's not telling us… I don't think he wants to sacrifice American lives needlessly, so he'll hire some "foreign" agents to take care of his dirty work… I suppose the irony is that I am an American, and he doesn't know it, but I don't really care right now, I'm so mad! There's a catch here too, I know there's a catch!"

"There probably is. But we've survived a lot, and we'll survive a lot more!" Ryouko said optimistically.

"Immortality must have its benefits," Kurama said sarcastically.

"That would be true…" Ryouko said happily. Hiei laughed softly.

"Yes, we may be immortal, but I still have a really bad feeling about this job," Himizu said grimly as she slid into the driver's seat. Her hand gripped the reassuringly firm saber and gun at her belt as she frowned down at the steering wheel.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I know, this chapter is odd. What do you want from me? Don't own anything important.

The GPS led them to a small worn-down house outside of a small town in rural Pennsylvania. The girls glanced around. This house was the only one within a few miles. Everything seemed secure, so they got out and walked up to the door. They knocked and the door was partially opened by an older man who looked quite a lot like Osama bin Laden, except clean-shaven. Himizu smiled.

"Mr. Shahnaz?" she asked politely. He hesitated visibly.

"Do I know you?" he asked finally.

"No sir, you do not, but we'd like to remedy that," Ryouko said. "May we come in?"

"This is my home, isn't it… yes, I suppose you can come in…" he said. The girls exchanged bemused glances. Something about this man wasn't quite ringing true. Still, they walked into the house anyways, followed by Kurama and Hiei. They were barely inside the house when the man turned around and pinned Ryouko to the wall. Her eyes widened in shock. Himizu's hand moved sharply to her waist, as did Hiei's. Kurama started to reach towards his hair, but hesitated. Mr. Shahnaz glared at them all. "You all have weapons… disarm yourselves now."

Himizu hesitated. "How do you know?"

"Do my senses deceive me then?" he asked as he smartly relieved Ryouko of her three guns. Himizu gulped. "I'm not a fool," Mr. Shahnaz told her. "Now disarm yourselves. Or I'll kill her now." He pulled out a gun of his own.

Himizu was no dummy. She pulled out her three guns and laid them on the table next to Ryouko's. Hiei pulled out his katana and Kurama pulled out the pistol that the girls had given him so that he wouldn't have to use his rosewhip. Mr. Shahnaz watched them calmly.

"Good, you're not idiots…" he said pleasantly. "Now, I'll just have to figure out how to get rid of you… I really don't enjoy being disturbed…" He dragged Ryouko off in the direction of a door. Himizu followed quickly, as did Kurama and Hiei. Mr. Shahnaz threw Ryouko into a small room, the size of a closet, and shoved the rest of the gang after her. They heard no less than five locks click. Then Mr. Shahnaz walked away, muttering to himself.

"Yeesh… some welcome…" groaned Himizu. "Are you okay, Ryouko?"

"Yeah, I'm fine… that was really unexpected though…" Ryouko said shakily.

"There's something about him… Dubya has probably sent several assassins after him already, so he probably knows what signs to look for, such as concealed weapons… but there's something else about him… I can't put my finger on it though…"

As they sat in silence for several minutes thinking about their predicament, they heard Mr. Shahnaz's shuffling footsteps.

"My gun collection is all over the house… I don't understand it… how do they keep getting out of their closet?" he muttered. They heard him open a door that sounded like it was extremely close by, maybe even right next to them. Then he shuffled off again. Himizu and Ryouko looked at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" they asked each other at the same time. "Oh, yeah, PC!!! Power to the people!" they exclaimed, high-fiving each other. Kurama and Hiei stared at each other in confusion.

"Did we just miss something?" Hiei asked Kurama, who shrugged in reply. The girls started laughing their heads off, then pulled their retracted sabers. Both pushed a hidden button and the blades appeared, shimmering silver in color. Then they each hit the wall with a single smooth stroke, the points of their sabers barely touching. The surrounding wall vaporized at once and there was a sizeable hole for them to look through.

"Holy son of a sick monkey's uncle!" Himizu cried, eyes huge with amazement. "Ye gods, this is like looking into Ryouko's armory…"

"Purr…" Ryouko murmured joyfully. The girls quickly widened the hole and they all scampered through. The gang retrieved their own weapons and the girls collected the best of the remaining weapons. As they holstered the weapons, they heard the shuffling footsteps again.

"Another gun… how do these things end up all over my house?" he muttered.

Himizu and Ryouko looked at each other, then at the gaping hole in the wall. "Oh bugger…" Himizu muttered, just as the door opened. Mr. Shahnaz's eyes became huge as he stared at them.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my closet?"

The girls looked at each other. "What do you mean, who are we? You threw us into the closet not half an hour ago."

"I did?" he asked, looking bewildered. "Why would I do that? I'm a peaceful person, I'm only trying to survive."

"Survive what?" Himizu asked.

"That's a good question. What am I hiding from?" the man asked himself.

"Good God… he's got short-term memory loss!" Himizu groaned. She and Ryouko quickly pulled out their guns. Mr. Shahnaz grabbed several guns and emptied them into the nearby walls. The gang simply pressed the anti-gravity buttons on their belts and hit the ceiling. Then they pushed them again, hitting the floor. Then a real fight started, with swords this time. Ryouko and Himizu were a perfect tag-team, with one girl fighting and then sliding back to catch her breath while the other one took over. Hiei occasionally joined in too, just for the fun of it. Then Mr. Shahnaz stopped.

"Wait… why was I fighting you again?" he asked.

"Because we were hired to kill you," Ryouko told him.

"Why would someone want to kill me?" he asked.

"Because you know some very important secrets that Dubya is trying to hide," Himizu said.

"That's right! I do! Bwa ha ha!" he laughed.

"What are they then?" the girls asked.

"… I forget…" Mr. Shahnaz said finally. The girls did a face-fault.

"This is stupid," Ryouko said finally. "This guy is totally harmless…"

"Dubya is just a grade-A asshole, but is that really news to anyone?" asked Himizu. "You know what, Mr. Shahnaz, it would be the easiest thing in the world to snuff you out, but this is honestly insulting to our intelligence and our profession. So we're going to leave and let Dubya figure out how to explain why the Army bombed a plain-looking house in the middle of rural Pennsylvania. Good luck to ya mate!" Himizu said, saluting him casually. He stared at them in a bemused way, then nodded vaguely and led them upstairs. They bid him good-bye and headed back to the White House.

Once there, they didn't announce themselves. Instead they snuck around until they had hacked into the White House computer files and found a certain object stuck in a forgotten desk drawer. Then they were ready to meet with the president.

"Okay, prez, we knocked him off for ya. We also figured out that the only reason you hired us is because you couldn't risk the American public finding out that you sent your Army to kill someone in Pennsylvania. So, for our trouble, and as hush money, we're asking for 50 million US dollars," Ryouko said flatly.

"Where is your proof that he's dead?" Dubya asked.

"Right here," Himizu snapped, slamming down a glass jar with a head floating in it. Dubya glanced at it carefully, then nodded.

"It appears to be his head. I'll tell Cheney later…" he said to himself. "All right then, here you are… 50 million dollars." He handed over the money calmly and the girls pocketed it. They also handed back the GPS. Then they walked out. As soon as they were in the car driving away, the girls burst out laughing.

"I can't wait until Cheney tries to put the new head with bin Laden's head!" exclaimed Ryouko.

"I can't wait until Dubya checks the GPS to see where we disposed of Mr. Shahnaz's body only to discover that it's in the White House!" laughed Himizu. "He's an idiot. Or as Shakespeare put it, 'Fit to govern? No, not to live.'"

"You two are rather cruel…" Kurama said.

"I thought it was amusing…" Hiei said with a smile.

"Thanks Hiei," Ryouko said happily. "It wasn't too hard though. Himizu's hacking skills have really improved lately. You know, she's been through all the Kennedy assassination files and everything, so getting into the GPS database wasn't hard at all for her."

"Thank you Ryouko. But it was not only your idea to switch Mr. Shahnaz's signal with Dick Cheney's, it was also your excellent thieving skills that enabled us to find bin Laden's head in that desk drawer and give that to Dubya as proof," Himizu said.

"Well, that was your idea, and it was utterly brilliant," Ryouko told her. "Here's to teamwork," she added, pulling out four cans of Mountain Dew. The gang opened their cans and clinked them together.

"We so totally rock!" Himizu said happily.

"It's not every day you get to totally swindle the prez, and get 50 million dollars for doing so. I wish all our missions paid this well…" Ryouko mused.

"Well, after this exciting mission, I feel like starting some trouble," Himizu said.

"What kind of trouble are we talking about?" Ryouko asked with interest.

"I dunno. Let's see what kind of trouble we can find…" Himizu said. Ryouko agreed. Kurama and Hiei rolled their eyes and sat back to see what would happen. After a nice long drive, they watched the sun set over the Atlantic Ocean.

"We're almost in Miami…" Himizu said.

"Sweet… maybe a day at the beach?" Ryouko suggested.

"I'm game… but first… here's that trouble I was talking about…" Himizu said. Ryouko glanced around. Himizu was steering the car into the parking lot of a bar. The parking lot was already crowded with motorcycles.

"Hm… a biker bar… This will be fun…" Ryouko said looking around approvingly. She and Himizu high-fived. Kurama and Hiei groaned. Would there ever be a day when the girls didn't conspire to get into trouble?


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Wow, I finally remember to update... lordy lordy I really need to do this more often, I have several chapters done and I really ought to post them... I'll try to be more on the ball.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah blah blah, etc. etc. go away.

* * *

The girls quickly transformed their outfits into tight black jeans and sleeveless black shirts. They added black boots and black cowboy hats to top off this ensemble. Kurama and Hiei were forced to wear black jeans and black T-shirts. Then they walked into the bar. Several rather large biker boys were hanging out shooting pool, throwing darts, or simply drinking beer. The girls walked in and settled down at a table with their escorts. After knocking down a shot of vodka with lemonade apiece, the girls stood again and walked straight up to the boys throwing darts.

"Twenty bucks says we can kick y'alls butts at this," Himizu said calmly laying down a twenty-dollar bill.

"Taken," said what appeared to be the lead biker, laying his own twenty-dollar bill down next to Himizu's. The girls nodded and lined up.

Luckily enough, this was something they both enjoyed doing. Throwing darts was a harmless way to practice throwing knives, so both had developed phenomenal accuracy. They even decided to show off, holding several darts at once and throwing them the way ninjas throw their weapons, each dart landing perfectly in the tiny bulls-eye. The bikers were stunned, to say the least, and Himizu pocketed both twenties at the end of this. Then the girls turned their attentions to the pool table.

"Twenty bucks says we can kick your tails at pool too," Ryouko said, laying down her twenty.

"Taken," agreed another biker, laying down his twenty. But this time, the boys were laughing. The girls certainly didn't look like pool players, but they had another thing coming. It just so happens that Himizu's grandfather is a champion pool player and he had given the girls lessons. Not only that, but the girls had mastered many tricks, and were as adept at pool as they were in throwing darts. So they played. And they showed off of course. Ryouko made several neat trick shots that she had seen on ESPN, and Himizu scored a dandy shot by sitting sidesaddle on the side of the pool table and holding the stick behind her back to get the right angle. With this maneuver, she was able to knock her ball in around the one that a biker had placed directly in front of the hole. And with that sweet little shot, she and Ryouko won the game. They high-fived as Ryouko pocketed her two twenties. The bikers were now way past stunned. Two young girls that they'd never seen before had smartly relieved them of forty bucks and made them look like fools in games they were used to dominating. Then someone had the bright idea to pull out a deck of cards and start a game of Texas Hold 'Em. The girls, being the card sharks that they were, were in at once.

In very little time at all, the stakes were high. The girls had plenty of cash to burn, and the biker boys were willing to put up the money to back the rest of their gang. Unfortunately, Himizu did not particularly understand the game of poker, and she wasn't faring well, but was still holding her own with her unlimited cash flow. Luckily, Kurama and Hiei had joined the game too. Hiei had the world's greatest poker face, and was able to win one game with one of the worst hands in poker in the history of the game. (I have no idea what that would be… I don't understand poker, like I said.) Ryouko also had a good poker face, and Kurama was just plain amazing at poker. So Himizu dropped out and watched the rest of them play with interest.

A few hours later, the games were over. Kurama had successfully managed to win back all the girl's money and had collected over half the biker's money in the bargain. The girls whooped, high-fived Kurama, Hiei, and each other, and jumped up on the bar to celebrate as they gulped down a glass of Mountain Dew apiece.

"You guys are a bunch of pussies!" Himizu exclaimed. "I've never seen biker boys lose this easily!"

The music stopped. There was dead silence except for the bartender dropping a mug and it crashing into a million pieces. The biker boys stood up and faced the girls and their companions.

"Why?" asked Kurama. "Why did you have to piss them off?"

"BECAUSE IT'S FUN!!!" she yelled. Kurama groaned, then ducked as someone threw a dart at them.

Chaos reared its ugly head. The biker boys threw darts, pool cues, and beer mugs at the girls. A few of the big ones even started throwing chairs. The girls returned fire, throwing back the very projectiles aimed at them. Kurama and Hiei defended themselves easily, but refrained from attacking. Within seconds, the girls were creating mass confusion. No one seemed to be able to figure out where they were. Kurama and Hiei started edging towards the door, with vague thoughts of hiding in the car until the girls got tired of destroying the bar. Just as they reached the door, Hiei felt a hand brush his shoulder just where it met his neck, and a voice whispered in his ear, "Confusion hath made it's masterpiece…"

Hiei turned around sharply, but no one was there. At that moment, Kurama yelped and kicked out. "What is it?" Hiei asked, reaching for his katana.

"Someone just touched my neck and whispered 'Look what fools these mortals be'… which is a Shakespeare quote…" Kurama mused.

"And someone just touched me and whispered 'Confusion hath made its masterpiece'…" Hiei said.

"Shakespeare again… you don't suppose…" Kurama shut the door to the bar behind him and turned around. He jumped three feet in the air when the girls phased into view right in front of them.

"Didn't we tell you to wear those anti-gravity/invisibility belts at all times?" Ryouko scolded them.

"You should have been able to see us…" Himizu said, shaking her head. "By the way, Kurama, you came within half an inch of kicking me."

"Sorry, I didn't know it was you…" he apologized.

"Don't apologize to them, they're the reason we were in the middle of that mess in the first place… and every other mess we've been in since we started this nonsense…" Hiei added.

"You know you love us," Ryouko teased him. He rolled his eyes in disgust as they jumped into the car. They sped off into the night before the biker boys realized they'd even left the bar.

"Beach?" Ryouko asked hopefully.

"Uh… I dunno… I suppose we could… we really should do some training though, we've gotten lazy."

"Okay, that works. Back to Animedom!" Ryouko said perkily. So in no time at all, they were back in the fifth dimension pulling up in front of the mansion.

"Want to see our training room?" Himizu asked the boys. They agreed, since it wasn't like they had anything better to do, and off they went. The training room was sent up like a large gymnasium with a set of bleachers against one wall where the boys sat. The girls snapped their fingers to change into black costumes similar to what the stereotypical ninja wears. Then they clasped their hands, bowed to each other, and jumped into the air. Without warning a giant trampoline appeared out of the floor and the girls landed on that and were soon jumping through the air, seemingly intent on beating each other up.

Himizu tried to kick Ryouko, who blocked and tried to slip her arm underneath to hit Himizu, who also blocked and tried to whack Ryouko on the head, but she blocked and they both jumped back and started jumping in a slow circle, sizing each other up. Without warning, they both drew their sabers and attacked each other once again. Near miss after near miss followed, with neither girl gaining an inch on each other. They finally jumped back again. Both were breathing hard and their eyes were lit up with the thrill of battle.

"Ready?" Ryouko asked. Himizu could only nod. Both raised their sabers again, but before they could charge…

CHICKEN!!!

"HOLY HELL!" yelped Himizu, leaping into the air and clinging upside-down to one of the rafters on the ceiling. She quivered there like a scared kitten. Ryouko fell off the trampoline, but somehow landed on her feet and she snatched up the phone.

"Chicks in Black! Yes… yes… sure, we can do that. Uh huh… okay. See you later then." She hung up the phone and paused for a moment. "Himizu!" she yelled.

"What?" Himizu said, still clinging to the rafter.

"GET DOWN HERE, HIMIZU NO BAKA!"

"How?"

"Don't ask me, I didn't tell you to go up there!!! Figure it out for yourself."

"Meanie…" Himizu muttered. She shrugged and let herself drop onto the trampoline. "Ow… my spine…"

"Idiot… listen, we have a job."

"No shit. I thought you had a hot date."

"Will you please be serious?"

"That's not possible, you know that."

"As serious as you're capable of being?"

"Okay… my spine really hurts…"

"I'm a therapist, not a chiropractor."

"Big help…"

"It is actually, and you know it."

"Are you going to tell me what the new job is or not?"

"Are you going to listen?"

"…I suppose…"

"Good. We get to make a drug bust."

"Do we get to keep the drugs?"

"HIMIZU NO BAKA!" Ryouko yelled, clubbing her on the head.

"Ow! I was just kidding! You know I never take anything stronger than caffeine."

"And that's a good thing too…" Ryouko muttered in annoyance. "Anyways, we need to go to a club in Miami and help the cops make a drug bust."

"Sounds like fun."

"Right. So how do you want to do this, just go clubbing?"

"That's too easy."

"Always the hard way with you two, isn't it?" said Kurama with a sigh.

"Duh. That's the fun way."

"What's your idea, Himizu?" Ryouko asked. Himizu grinned and outlined her plan.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Fall Out Boy (or its' songs or singers), Monty Python, Graham Chapman, or anything else I used and forgot about

"We're going to become a band and perform at the club!" Himizu declared.

"Are you nuts?" Ryouko exclaimed.

"We've established that so many times. Yes, I am. But this will work."

"No it won't. None of us has enough musical talent to pull this off."

"She's right you know…" Kurama pointed out.

"I refuse to degrade myself by performing in a ningen band," Hiei growled.

"Technically, none of us are pure human…" Himizu reminded him. He just glared at her. "Besides, there's no way we won't be able to pull this off. Kurama can play the drums… Hiei can play one guitar and Ryouko can play the other and provide backup vocals, and I'll provide the main vocals."

"Now I know this plan will never work…" Ryouko groaned.

"Why not?" Himizu snapped.

"Because you sing like a dying dog!" Ryouko yelled.

"I do not!" Himizu exclaimed.

"You're right, I'm insulting the dog…" Ryouko said, grinning. Himizu glared.

"Will you just listen to me? We have two secret weapons!"

"They must be very secret, since none of us know what you're talking about," Kurama pointed out.

"Well, duh, then they wouldn't be secrets, now would they?" Himizu pointed out. Hiei slapped his forehead.

"Why hasn't anyone shut this baka onna up yet?" he asked.

"Ryouko, we have the pills!" Himizu exclaimed, before Ryouko could follow Hiei's suggestion using a mallet. Ryouko paused.

"Those ones that Master X gave us ages ago?"

"Uh huh."

"You're nuts!"

"He gave them to us!"

"I swear, that damn squirrel has a crystal ball stored away somewhere…" Ryouko growled. "What's the second weapon?"

"Patrick."

"Oh bloody 'ell…" Ryouko groaned. "You're an idiot… What did you do with him?"

"He's in a closet… not the same one as Graham Chapman though…"

"Good…" Ryouko muttered.

"Uh… what are you two talking about?" Kurama asked.

"Patrick is the lead singer of Fall Out Boy, one of the greatest bands of all time. He's in a closet. Not the same one as Graham Chapman though."

"Isn't Chapman the dead guy from Monty Python?"

"Yep, but he's not dead. We brought him back to life. He's so awesome. Problem is, he's gay so we can't lock him up with other guys. That's why I was reassuring Ryouko that Patrick is not with Graham."

"Oh my lord…" Hiei groaned.

"Patrick's awesome. He doesn't really care that he's in a closet, he just sits there writing lyrics."

"Did you give him drugs?" Hiei asked dryly.

"What is it with you guys and thinking I do drugs?" Himizu exclaimed indignantly. "No I didn't, he really doesn't mind, I let him out for band practice all the time. Hell, he's been doing some vocals coaching with me."

"I knew you tortured your prisoners, but that sounds just plain mean," said Kurama. Himizu rolled her eyes in disgust. "What are these pills?" he asked hastily to keep her from going psycho.

"Master X gave them to us ages ago. They give the person who takes them musical talent for about 5 or 6 hours. They really work too."

"It could work…" Ryouko said thoughtfully. "And besides, we all know what most band members do backstage anyways… drugs and sex."

"So we'll be able to catch the drug dealers with ease, I would say," Himizu said, pleased that finally someone was listening to her plan. Ryouko nodded.

"I like it. Let's go!" she exclaimed. Hiei and Kurama stared at each other in horror.

So they all ran upstairs to Himizu's room. Kurama was alarmed, but not entirely surprised, to see that she had added several more pictures of Rick Nash and several bones to her large collection of strange items adorning her room. They walked into her closet, which was half the size of the bedroom (which mean it was a pretty darn huge closet).

"Okay, explain to me why you have this huge closet, but you always wear jeans and T-shirts or sweatshirts…" said Kurama.

"Because I have clothes for all occasions," Himizu told him. She was rummaging through some dusty looking outfits that probably hadn't been worn in about five years. "Found it!" she exclaimed. She pulled out a pair of black pants, a white silk shirt, a black silk vest with sequins on it, and a black jacket. Ryouko grinned.

"I remember those… they're perfect. Do we have something similar for Hiei and Kurama?"

"Amazingly enough, I think we do. No sequins though."

"Nuts. They'd look good in sequins," Ryouko said, turning her evil grin towards the two boys, who took off. A little while later, Ryouko and Himizu found them and collared them. Both girls had already changed into the new outfits, and they had even found cool little black hats that looked like miniature top hats. They were also wearing black shoes and the black sunglasses that they had worn on almost all the missions so far. The boys were locked in a room until they'd put on their new costumes. When they came out, they found Ryouko standing and looking bored.

"Where did Himizu go?" Kurama asked.

"I'm not sure… she said something about Patrick though…" Ryouko muttered.

A few minutes later, Himizu appeared, walking with Patrick.

"Have fun at the concert, Pat!" she said. He nodded, grinned at Ryouko, and walked off. Himizu smiled. "He's a great guy, really." Ryouko laughed, then they all took the pills that Master X had given them. Then Himizu started singing Wings of a Butterfly, by HIM and it turned out that the pills really had given her musical talent. Somehow, Ryouko was able to sing and play a guitar, and Hiei was able to play a guitar, and Kurama was able to play the drums. They jumped into the car and headed off to Miami.

When they arrived, they pulled up to the back door of a very trendy little club. A security guard peered at them. "Are you the band?" he asked.

"Youkai in Black, that's us!" Himizu said perkily. The guard led them in and before they knew it, they were setting up behind some curtains on stage.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Kurama grinned.

"No worries, we just play music, everyone dances, it's all cool," said Himizu.

The curtain went up. Himizu moved up to the mike and started swaying as Kurama, Hiei, and Ryouko struck up the music. They had agreed to play Thnks fr th Mmrs, by Fall Out Boy. (A/N: Parentheses are what Ryouko is singing)

_"I'm gonna make you bend and break (it sent you to me without wings), Say a prayer, but let the good times roll, In case God doesn't show (let the good times roll, let the good times roll), And I want these words to make things right, But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life, Who does he think he is? If that's the worst you've got, better put your fingers back to the keys!"_ She jumped back and started dancing while the music intensified. She noticed that Kurama and Hiei were actually really starting to get into it. No need to look at Ryouko, Himizu knew she was having a good time. The two girls then started singing the chorus.

_"One night and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you only sweeter! One night yeah and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See he tastes like you only sweeter, Ohhhhhh!"_ She moved forward now, swaying once again, letting her eyes roam over the crowd. People were dancing excitedly, cheering and jumping. Her eyes settled on an extremely good-looking blonde guy as Hiei did a very nice little guitar riff. Nearby fangirls swooned.

_"Been looking forward to the future, But my eyesight is going bad, In this crystal ball, It's always cloudy except for (except for), When you look into the past (look into the past), One night stand (One night stand, off!)!"_

Himizu started dancing again, and she noticed that the blonde guy's deep green eyes were locked on her. _"One night and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you only sweeter! One night yeah one more time! Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See, he tastes like you only sweeter, ohhhh!"_

She slid forward again, leaning slightly against the microphone stand. Now she and the blonde guy were staring into each other's eyes. _"(They say) I only think in the form of crunching numbers, In hotel rooms, collecting page-six lovers, Get me out of my mind, Get you out of those clothes, I'm a line away, From getting you into the mood (wa-ooooohhh)!" _She nodded to Kurama, who quickly did an impropteau drum solo, letting his gorgeous scarlet red hair fly around, getting incredibly messy and nearly causing the fangirls to storm the stage.

She jumped back to dance again and she saw the blonde guy smile broadly._ "One night and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you only sweeter, One night yeah one more time, Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See, he tastes like you only sweeter, One night and one more time (one more night, one more time) Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great (even though they weren't so great), He tastes like you only sweeter, One night yeah one more time (one more night, one more time), Thanks for the memories (for the memories), Thanks for the memories (for the memories), See, he tastes like you only sweeter!" _She continued to alternate between dancing and swaying as her instrumentals faded the music out brilliantly. The crowd exploded with joy and when the DJ started playing again, there were groans of annoyance.

"Everyone wants us to play, this is great! Good job, Himizu," Ryouko said.

"Thanks, same to you, and to you guys," Himizu added with a nod to the boys. She glanced out towards the dance floor and saw the blonde guy watching her still. "What's gonna be out next song?"

"How many do we have to do?" Ryouko asked.

"Five or six, I think," Himizu said with a sigh. She whipped her hat off for a moment and twirled it on one of her fingers. "Let's do Face Down, that's a good one." The band members nodded and they moved back to playing position. The crowd started going nuts and Himizu saw the blonde guy watching her again as she put on her hat. Smiling to herself as she pulled the microphone closer, Himizu wondered if she'd be able to meet the blonde guy after the show.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, including the songs we sing.

A/N: I feel the need to say this... this is probably my least favorite chapter of all the ones I wrote... but I really couldn't think of any other way out of this predicament to get me the kind of ending I want... so yeah, it kinda stinks, bear with me, go on and read the other one that I posted!

It was time for the Youkai in Black to play again. Kurama struck up the drums, then Hiei and Ryouko started strumming their guitars while Himizu headbanged, then she launched into the music.

_"Hey girl you know you drive me crazy, one look puts the rhythm in my hand. Still I'll never understand why you hang around, I see what's going down. Cover up with makeup in the mirror, tell yourself it's never gonna happen again, you cry alone and then he swears he loves you."_ This music wasn't quite as good for dancing, so she just swayed to the music and concentrated on singing. The crowd seemed thrilled.

_"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end, as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found." _The hot blonde guy had moved closer to the stage and he was watching her with a grin on his face. Himizu felt her face redden, so she half-closed her eyes to focus on the music.

_"A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect, every action in this world will bear a consequence, If you wade around forever you will surely drown, I see what's going down. I see the way you go and say your right again, say your right again, heed my lecture." _This was a great song to sing, but she was starting to regret choosing it. This would definitely be easier if she could dance too. So many eyes on her…

_"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down a new life she has. One day she will tell you that she has had enough, it's coming round again. It's coming round again." _The song was almost over, but she could still feel the guy's eyes on her and she found herself feeling relieved that the song was nearly over. She wasn't quite used to having a guy stare at her.

_"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down, a new life she has. Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough. Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough." _Ryouko struck one last chord with the guitar and the music quit. The crowd went nuts again. Himizu grinned back at her crew. Right away they struck up From Yesterday (30 Seconds to Mars) and followed that up with Anna Molly (Incubus) and What I've Done (Linkin Park). They decided to end their evening by playing Paralyzer (Finger Eleven). The crowd totally adored them. Fangirls were screaming for the attentions of the drummer and one of the guitar players, while fanboys were going nuts over the other guitar player and the lead singer. Himizu kept locking eyes with the gorgeous blonde guy. As they took a break while the DJ played, she pointed him out to Ryouko.

"Good muscles, hair that's got a little length, and those to-die-for green eyes… what do you think?" she asked.

Ryouko nodded. "Definitely a total hottie. He seems to like you too, he's been watching us this entire conversation."

"Wow…" Himizu said, eyes glittering.

"Come on, it's time to play again," Ryouko said, gently punching her arm. Himizu nodded and moved back up the microphone. The blonde guy had moved now so that he was standing next to the stage close to the door to the back room where the band would go to rest and hopefully make the drug bust. Himizu swallowed, and sighed.

Ryouko struck up her guitar, Kurama started banging on the drums, and Hiei added his guitar to the melody. Himizu grabbed the microphone and stood still.

_"I hold on so nervously, To me and my drink, I wish it was cooling me, But so far, has not been good, It's been shitty, And I feel awkward, as I should, This club has got to be, The most pretentious thing, Since I thought you and me, Well I am imagining, A dark lit place, Or your place or my place." _She paused for half a second, then took off her hat and tossed it away into the crowd as she started dancing again.

_"Well I'm not paralyzed, But, I seem to be struck by you, I want to make you move, Because you're standing still, If your body matches, What your eyes can do, You'll probably move right through, Me on my way to you!"_ She slid forwards again, and boldly locked eyes with the blonde guy again.

_"I hold out for one more drink, Before I think, I'm looking too desperately, But so far has not been fun, I should just stay home, If one thing really means one, This club will hopefully, Be closed in three weeks, That would be cool with me, Well I'm still imagining, A dark lit place, Or your place or my place."_ She slid backwards now, and this time tossed away her black jacket. This gave her way more freedom to dance, and also allowed the lights of the club to glance off her sequins and really make her shine. As the crowd went nuts, she wondered if any of them would understand the hidden irony in the line 'this club will hopefully be closed in three weeks'. Oh well.

_"I'm not paralyzed, But, I seem to be struck by you, I want to make you move, Because you're standing still, If your body matches, What your eyes can do, You'll probably move right through, Me on my way to you. We'll I'm not paralyzed, But, I seem to be struck by you, I want to make you move, Because you're standing still, If your body matches, What your eyes can do, You'll probably move right through, Me on my way to you. You'll probably move right through, Me on my way to you. You'll probably move right through, Me on my way to you!" _The music quit at the same time her voice did and the crowd went nuts. The blonde guy nodded to her. He'd gotten the message all right.

The crowds went crazy as the band members made their way back to their private room. "That was a sweet gig!" said Ryouko with a grin. "We should do this again sometime."

A young man in a suit walked up to them. "I'm Alex, I'll be waiting on you tonight. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" One eyebrow arched in a subtly suggestive way.

"Yes, I think we could all use something to… unwind with…" Himizu said, tossing her brownish blonde hair over her shoulder and flashing a gorgeous smile at the guy. He nodded and left.

"Wow… they're actually going to bring the drug dealer to us?" Kurama couldn't help but laugh at the irony of this.

"Life is good, isn't it?" Himizu said with a smile. But the smile vanished when the door opened again and the hot blonde guy walked in, wearing Himizu's hat. "What are you doing here?" she gasped. He grinned.

"Hey sexy. Glad to see you and your crew are feeling up to a party."

"It can't be you, it just can't…" she whispered.

"Isn't life funny sometimes," he said with a laugh. "But I brought plenty of shit to party with and maybe you and I can have a little party of our own in someplace a little more private while the rest of your crew enjoys my party favors." He dumped several bags of drugs onto the table in front of them.

Himizu was stunned into silence, so Ryouko took the initiative and pulled out her gun.

"Alright buddy, against the wall right now. You're under arrest for possession with intent to distribute and I'd probably be adding attempted rape if I let this go much further."

"What the hell is this shit?" the guy yelled.

"She said, stand against the wall," Hiei snapped, standing up. Kurama had moved to block the blonde guy from running. So the blonde guy moved to stand against the wall. Hiei quickly frisked him and found a gun and several more drugs, including a couple of date rape drugs. Ryouko nodded grimly.

"Let's get the real cops in here to finish this job. Come on, Himizu."

Himizu stood up slowly, as though she were in a trance. Without missing a beat, she suddenly drew a knife out of one of her sleeves and threw it. It landed in the wall next to the blonde guys head. She stalked over, grabbed the knife, and snatched her hat off the guy's head. "And people wonder why I never go out with any guys… they're all assholes," she snapped, and stalked out, jamming her hat back on her head as she did so. Cops came running in and they took the blonde guy into custody. Ryouko answered some questions for them, collected their fee, and then went out to the car. Kurama and Hiei followed, and none of them were surprised to find Himizu sitting in the driver's seat waiting for them. She had Madison Avenue playing at an excessively high volume, and the car doors were barely closed before she roared out of the parking lot. In only a few minutes, they were back at the mansion and as soon as the car was parked, Himizu stalked into the house, and they soon heard a door slam from upstairs.

"What's she doing?" Kurama asked.

"Oh, she's just gone upstairs. She'll play some loud music, sit at her computer, read awhile, drink some Mountain Dew, maybe cry a little, I don't know, but she'll be back and in just as good a mood as ever. She just needs some time to herself," Ryouko said.

"What's she so upset about?" Hiei asked. Ryouko rolled her eyes.

"Forget it… must be a girl thing… let's just say that she's not had very good luck with guys and she tries to keep them at arms length."

"Whatever…" Hiei muttered.

"Come on, let's go watch a movie," Ryouko said. So they headed off and started watching the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. By the time they started the third one, Himizu had wandered in and calmly accepted a bowl of popcorn and a Mountain Dew from Ryouko as though nothing had happened. Still, they all noticed that she was much more quiet than usual that evening. It hadn't been the greatest evening for the gang.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I posted chapter 15 at the same time that I posted this one! Please read it first, even though in my opinion it's the worst chapter in this fic. You still need to read it to follow the storyline. Thanks, enjoy, leave a review!

Disclaimer: I own no movies, no Anime characters, or anything else I may have used.

The squad had fallen asleep in front of the TV the night before. After watching all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, they watched all five of the Harry Potter movies too. They had fallen asleep after or during the fifth movie and since that had been very early in the morning, it was consequently the middle of the afternoon when Hiei woke up. Somehow he had once again ended up laying his head on Ryouko's while she lay on his shoulder, but obviously no one had taken pictures this time. Kurama snored softly from his chair. Ryouko muttered something in her sleep as Hiei gently laid her head on a pillow on the arm of the couch, but she didn't wake up. Himizu was curled up like a cat in the seat of her chair, hugging a pillow. A muscle twitched in her face and she buried her face more deeply into her pillow. Hiei sighed and stood up slowly. He walked out of the room and then found his way to the kitchen, which wasn't far away from the room they'd been sleeping in. He found some bread, some meat, some cheese, some chips, and some soda and started making himself lunch, it being way too late for breakfast. As he ate, he heard footsteps coming down the hall. Ryouko walked in, looking tired.

"Morning Hiei," she said, rooting around in the refrigerator for some food of her own.

"Hn…" he grunted.

"You're not a morning person, are you?" she asked. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Morning? It's 4 the afternoon."

"It is? Shit…" Ryouko muttered. Then she yawned. "Oh well… not like we have anything to do."

Kurama walked in looking like a total brain-dead zombie.

"Morning Kurama…"

He muttered something sleepily.

"Kurama?"

He muttered something else.

"Kurama, we can't understand a word you're saying. WAKE UP ALREADY!" Ryouko yelled at him.

Kurama forced one eye all the way open. "Coffee?"

"Nasty stuff… but we do keep some on hand for guests. In the pantry."

"Hm…" Kurama muttered, slipping back into brain-dead mode. He made himself some instant coffee and grabbed a packet of Hot Fudge Sundae Poptarts.

Ryouko had found a box of Lucky Charms and was eating them contentedly. Hiei had made a ham and cheese sandwich and grabbed several potato chips and eaten them. By the time the kitchen was clean, Himizu still had not arrived.

"Lazy girl…" Ryouko muttered to herself. "I'm going to wake her up right now so she doesn't want to do another all-night movie marathon." She walked out, followed by the two boys. But when they arrived in the room they'd been sleeping in, Himizu was nowhere to be seen. Only the much-crumpled pillow that Himizu had used was left on the chair. Ryouko frowned. "Now where did that baka girl go?" she wondered.

"Don't ask us… you know her better than we do…" Hiei muttered.

"She's probably in her room, but I don't know why she'd go there before she'd eaten… unless… oh no…" Ryouko muttered, and she ran off towards the stairs. The boys followed and they ended up at the door to Himizu's room, still decorated with crime tape and various photos. Ryouko knocked on the door.

"What?" Himizu's voice called out.

"Himizu, don't you want breakfast? Or lunch, whatever you prefer?" Ryouko called.

"Not now! I just got inspiration for a fanfic! Must not leave chair!" she exclaimed. Ryouko groaned.

"She'll be there for a while. She's convinced that if she moves for one second that the idea will disappear without a trace and she'll be back to square one…"

"… Which is probably right…" Hiei pointed out.

"Not gonna confirm or dispute that…" Ryouko said with a grin. "Basically she'll sit in there until the world ends or she's lost her creative spark, whichever comes first, and nothing we say or do will make her budge… so let's go find something else to do."

So the trio went back down to the kitchen and started playing cards. At about 8 that evening, Himizu appeared, looking worn out. Her hands shook as she grabbed food items and tossed them onto the counter to make herself dinner.

"Did you finish what you were working on?" Ryouko asked.

"What? Yeah… yeah, I did…" Himizu said vaguely. She made herself a sandwich with pulled pork, ham, and Swiss cheese. Kurama wrinkled his nose.

"What is that?" he asked her. "It looks like it should be two different sandwiches."

"It's called a Havana… I had it at some restaurant… Champ's I think… it's amazing…" Himizu said, grabbing a can of Mountain Dew and a bag of nachos. She sat herself down next to Kurama who was sitting across from Hiei with Ryouko next to him. Then Himizu scarfed down food like there was no tomorrow while they all played Uno for several more hours.

"What was so desperately important about that fic that you had to barricade yourself at your computer for almost four hours?" Ryouko asked. Himizu just smiled.

"It's a secret…" she said, still smiling, but that could have been because she's just made Ryouko draw four cards. Ryouko cussed, drew her cards, cussed again when she saw what they were, then continued to stare at Himizu.

"Come on, you can tell me, you know I won't tell any of your readers!" she pleaded. Himizu shook her head firmly. "Oh come on, at least tell me which fic it was!" Ryouko complained.

"I don't want to give anything away," Himizu protested.

Ryouko sighed. "Well, you're currently writing about 18 different fics… It damn well better not be the ones that we're supposed to be working on together…" Himizu shook her head. "So we can eliminate… about five of them… Hm…"

"Just give up… you'll never get it, and I don't feel like telling you anyways…" Himizu said.

"YOU STARTED A NEW FIC!" Ryouko yelled suddenly. Himizu fell off her chair from the force of the yell.

"DAMN YOU, HOW'D YOU KNOW?" she screamed.

"I KNOW ALL!" Ryouko yelled back.

"BULL MONKEY PICKLED DONUTS!" Himizu shouted back. They looked at each other and started laughing their heads off. Hiei and Kurama stared.

"Mood swings… I thought only Himizu got those," Kurama said.

"They must be contagious," said Himizu with a grin. They played Uno some more and eventually Himizu went and made a pot of hot chocolate (from Tim Horton's, yummy!) and Ryouko found several gallons of ice cream and they all ate large bowls of ice cream and sipped the steaming hot chocolate. Hiei leaned back in his chair with a contented sigh.

"I have to admit, you two sure know how to live…" he said.

"We've been complimented… by Hiei…" said Ryouko, looking confused. "How often does Hiei compliment anyone?"

"Let me think… basically never… it is an occasion for great rejoicing," Himizu said, pulling out party favors. Kurama choked on his hot chocolate as he tried not to crack up at the look on Hiei's face. Himizu blew on one of the party favors and it tickled Hiei right between the eyes. He glared and the party favor burst into flame, causing Himizu to scream in horror and throw it into the air. It landed on the floor and continued to burn until a robot servant appeared and poured water on it, saving the house from burning down. "You are such an ass, Hiei," Himizu exclaimed.

"Thanks," he said, leaning back in his chair again. Ryouko snickered. Kurama smiled. Himizu rolled her eyes and chugged the rest of her hot chocolate, but instantly started gagging and gasping and screaming and twitching like she was dying, which it seems she was since Hiei had raised the temperature of her hot chocolate right before she drank it and now her mouth, throat, and stomach felt like they were on fire. So Himizu rolled around on the floor screaming and gagging until Kurama took pity on her and poured some ice-cold water down her throat. Ryouko and Hiei laughed their heads off at her.

"I take it back… you're both asses…" Himizu snarled, very annoyed that her mouth was burnt. "Owie… pain… You two shall die a fleas death!"

"Why are you quoting Shakespeare at a time like this?" Ryouko yelled at her.

"I was going to ask who Shakespeare was since you two seem so fond of quoting him, but I'm not sure I want to…" Hiei muttered.

"He's one of the greatest playwrights that ever lived," Kurama said.

"He was also a gay British white dude that wrote evil plays that dissed women and Jews," said Ryouko.

"But his insults are very creative and fun to throw at people because then they look at you like you're totally insane and then you can beat them up and run away laughing maniacally," added Himizu.

"If you say so…" Kurama muttered. Hiei rolled his eyes, now realizing exactly why a little voice in his head had told him not to ask who Shakespeare was.

After a few hours, they ended up retiring to bedrooms. Himizu and Ryouko took their own rooms and Kurama borrowed Kitsune's and Hiei borrowed Saru's. This was because of the simple fact that Saru's room scared the living crap out of Kurama, and Hiei was the only one who felt safe spending the night there. So they actually slept on normal beds like normal people, even though they were not normal, but that was okay. And they all slept peacefully and had no dreams worth mentioning and were perfectly content with life… until the next morning that is. When the phone rang.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Okay, I know I ignored this story for a really long time and those of you who were reading loyally are probably kinda pissed, but come on, I haven't gotten any reviews for any of my last 3 chapters, and I've checked my traffic, I know people are reading. I'm not asking for much, just drop me a line, say I made you laugh, say you think I'm mentally insane, say you want Himizu thrown off a bridge or bludgeoned with a hockey stick! I'd prefer not to have flames, but I'm starting to think it would be welcome and that any feedback would be good feedback. So please, take an extra 30 seconds, even if it's as simple as "LOL" just so I know that I'm doing something right with this fic, please!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Someday I hope to make this clear to all lawyers in the world!

CHICKEN!

The early-morning tranquility was shattered by the harsh cry of the telephone. Hiei leapt from his position on the window-seat where he'd been meditating or whatever since he didn't feel like leaving his room. Kurama suddenly had several large thorny plants grow up around him to protect him from whatever had jerked him out of his slumber. Himizu shrieked, fell out of bed, and hid beneath said bed next to a pile of clothes, papers, and other assorted junk that she had never bothered sorting. Ryouko also fell out of bed, cussed out the phone repeatedly, and seized it.

"Chicks in Black!" she said, trying hard to keep her voice normal. "Okay… okay… well, that's sort of against our policy… how much? Uh huh… well, I suppose we can make an exception… alright, see you soon." She hung up the phone and darted into Himizu's room. "Hey, Himizu!" she exclaimed, then paused. Himizu was not on her bed, and she was not at her computer, and she was not sitting in her large comfy chair by the window where she read her books and manga. Having eliminated the three normal places in the room, Ryouko took a more detailed examination of the room, but Himizu wasn't there. Ryouko thought for a moment, then suddenly noticed a balled-up T-shirt fly out from under the bed, followed by a folder full of newspaper clippings and a shoebox.

"Now is a hell of a time to be cleaning under your bed, Himizu," Ryouko said, walking over.

"Uh, whatever you say…" the girl replied, rolling out from under the bed. "So what's up?"

"We've got a new mission."

"Duh…"

"But they told us not to bring Kurama and Hiei."

"Really… that's odd… how did they know?"

"I have no idea. What do you think we should do?"

"Um… what's the punishment if we do bring them?"

"Instant death."

"WHAT?"

"I'm kidding… we just don't get the job."

"I see…"

"And it's worth 50 billion dollars…"

"Holy son of a sick monkey's uncle! Hell yeah, we're taking that job!"

"I love it when we think alike."

"Me too actually… makes life so much easier."

So that settled, the girls dressed in black jeans, black T-shirts, and black trench coats. They put their hair into braids, put on tall black boots, and put on their black sunglasses. Then they headed out. As they left, Ryouko spotted Hiei.

"Hey, Hiei!" she called. He glanced up from his Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tart and Stephen King novel. "Himizu and I have a quick errand to run. We should be back by tomorrow at the latest, and if we're not going to be, we'll call, k?"

"Whatever…" he said, continuing to read and eat.

"See ya!" she called, and was gone. She caught up with Himizu in the garage.

"What kept you?" Himizu asked.

"Grabbed breakfast!" Ryouko said, handing Himizu some Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts and biting into her own Strawberry ones.

"Sweet. The guys don't know we're leaving do they?"

"Nope," Ryouko lied. She couldn't explain why, but she had an uneasy feeling, which was why she'd told Hiei that they would be gone.

Within an hour, they were in a forest in Makai. The terrain proved to be especially nasty and the girls finally ditched the convertible-turned-four-wheeler in some bushes. "Okay, now where the hell do we go from here?" Himizu wondered, looking around. Ryouko shrugged, then spotted a strange looking voodoo-doll-type thing hanging from a pole nearby. Another one was several feet away, and another several feet further on.

"Well, lesson number one in trying to find a secret lair of a Makai-underworld gang… follow the scarecrows!" she said perkily. Himizu shrugged, and agreed to this, so off they went. Not five minutes later, the trail of scarecrow things abruptly stopped and the girls found themselves surrounded by demons.

"Lesson number two, totally disregard number one…" Himizu said disgustedly.

"Hi… we're supposed to be meeting with the leader of this gang!" Ryouko said brightly, ignoring the fact that the demons were licking their chops and seemed totally eager to just rip the girls apart.

"Well, our leader told us two ningen girls would show up sooner or later, and wants you to be brought to our headquarters … in chains…" one of the demons said.

"Well, that's not happening," Himizu said as she and Ryouko took fighting stances. The demons attacked and a bloody battle commenced, but the girls were overwhelmed by superior numbers and were dragged back to the gang's headquarters. Within moments of arriving, they found themselves in front of an elegant female demon. She was a beautiful creature with short white hair, sharp purple eyes, and a cold smile.

"So you came. I wondered if your greed would be enough to make you leave behind your bodyguards. Money… it is such a marvelous temptation."

"Look, you haughty little witch, order your guards to untie either one of us and I'll wager we could easily defeat your best fighter in combat. Sending a hundred or so of your soldiers is hardly a fair fight!" Himizu snapped.

"True… even your bodyguards wouldn't have been able to take on my horde," the demoness agreed. "But I wasn't looking to make it a fair fight. My goal was to capture you, using fair means or foul. As I said, money is such a marvelous temptation."

"What the hell are you talking a…bout…" Ryouko nearly choked as a cloaked figure made its way through the throng of demons and stopped next to the demoness. He removed his hood, revealing himself to be Koenma. "Koenma, you stinking SOB!" she exclaimed. Himizu was also spluttering with rage. He just laughed.

"After you two made laughingstocks out of my father, myself, and all our guards, I realized that I had to bring you back under my thumb, and Kokuzoku was only too willing to oblige."

At the sound of the name, Himizu and Ryouko glanced at each other. They realized they were in deep shit now. Traitor by name and nature, Kokuzoku would have no intention of letting Koenma get his claws into them… she would be saving them for herself.

"Alright, Koku, here's your money. My ogres will take them into custody and I can take it from here. Thank you for your help."

"Always a pleasure, Koenma dear, but if you'll recall… the deal was that I would capture these two girls. I didn't say a thing about handing them over to you."

Koenma was livid with rage. "You little sneak!" he exclaimed. "Our deal was that you would capture them for me!"

"And I didn't say anything about letting you take charge of them," Kokuzoku said firmly. "Now if you want them yourself, you'll have to pay extra. Until then, I'll hold onto them."

"Fine!" Koenma snapped. "I'll be back with the rest of your fee, you traitorous hussy!"

"Now, Koenma darling, that's no way to treat your favorite little demon, is it?" Kokuzoku was smiling widely now, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle.

Koenma scowled, and poofed away, along with his retinue of ogres. Ryouko and Himizu looked at each other. Their faces were impassive, but their eyes were fearful. Kokuzoku smiled even more broadly, resembling the Cheshire cat more than anything else. "Now, my proud beauties, what shall I do with you two?"

It was at least two hours after the girls had taken off before Kurama finally emerged from his bedroom. He felt relaxed and comfortable after a long sleep, a warm shower, and a distinct lack of crazy females bothering him. After the phone had rang and his heart rate had returned to normal, he'd returned to a peaceful sleep and had nearly forgotten the incident. After a nice peaceful breakfast, he finally started searching for company. He found it when he discovered Hiei sitting in a living room area playing a shooting game on a Wii. Kurama waited patiently until the game ended, then asked, "Where are the girls?"

"Dunno. Ryouko said they had an errand to run. Said they'd be back in a day or so."

"That's a heck of an errand."

"Hn. They were wearing their spy clothes too."

"That doesn't sound good…" Kurama said with a frown. "It sounds like they were heading out on a mission… but why would they leave us behind?"

"Dunno."

"The phone rang this morning…" Kurama remembered. "When did they leave?"

"Not much later."

"Figures. They got the call, got ready, and took off. But why would they leave us behind?"

"Dunno."

"I don't think this is a good thing. Should we try to figure out where they went?"

"Hn. Do what you want. I don't care." And with that, Hiei turned back to the game and started playing another shooting game.

Kurama frowned and started a tour of the immediate area of the house. The convertible was gone, no surprise. Ryouko's room was tidy except for an unmade bed, and Himizu's room looked like she'd been in the middle of cleaning under her bed when she was interrupted. But nowhere did he see any hint of where the girls had gone.

"Hiei, you need to use your Jagon," he said, walking back into the room that Hiei was in.

"Why? They're probably fine."

"Just in case."

Hiei sighed. "Fine, I'll look for them." He closed his eyes and his Jagon opened. He was silent for several moments, then his eyes snapped open. "Grab your weapons and stuff. We need to get to Makai. Now." The expression on his face sent Kurama scurrying. Within moments, the two were heading to the one person who could possibly help them, whether he wanted to or not. Koenma.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Hello everyone! Another chapter is here! I hope you enjoy it, I have to admit I really enjoyed this little saga, plus it's pretty much all Hiei and Kurama, which is a good thing I think. I had a little fun with Hiei and Ryouko, you may have noticed that I like to do some fluff with those two because I think it's cute and I can't do any with myself cuz I don't really have an affinity for the YYH characters like Ryouko does with Hiei... sadly (or not, depending on your view) I will never be able to do an out-and-out romance between those two because Ryouko won't let me. Oh well. Pease enjoy, please review, I only have 4 more chapters to post after this one.

Also, if any of you are also reading my Evil Overlord List fic, I finally reached item 91, and as there are 100 items, this means that the fic is nearly done! Woot! So I'm hoping to finish that over the next couple days and hopefully have it posted by Monday at the latest.

So once again, enjoy and please please please review! Just don't be like some anonymous jerk whose only comment was that I suck and need to stop writing. If you have to give me that kind of review, at least man up and put your name on the review. Thanks all!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, or a book that I quoted in here, or anything else I mentioned and forgot about.

Kurama and Hiei walked into Koenma's office. Both were wearing the black outfits that the girls had been making them wear, and were looking somewhat more intimidating than usual. Hiei smacked his hand down on Koenma's desk, making the tiny ruler jump.

"We need to get to Makai. Now," Hiei told him.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't do that!" Koenma exclaimed.

"Why NOT?" Hiei snapped.

"Be-because I just can't!" Koenma yelped.

"Look. You're the son of the ruler of Reiki. You're in charge of human souls. If a human dies in Makai, you have serious problems. Well, you have two humans trapped in Makai. Why won't you do anything about it?" Hiei shouted. Kurama was surprised. Hiei rarely got angry like this.

"I didn't mean for them to get stuck there!" Koenma exclaimed, then covered his mouth with his hands. Hiei's hand darted to the katana at his waist. Kurama was bewildered. Hiei had been too furious to explain what was happening to the two girls, but Kurama knew it was nothing good.

"Perhaps you should explain…" he suggested calmly.

Koenma flinched. "I hired a demon that I know to capture the girls for me, since they've proved so adept at escaping me."

"And you told them to come without us because somehow in your subconscious mind, you knew the demon would double-cross you and you didn't want your most competent spirit detectives in a demon's clutches," Kurama finished, massaging his temples slowly. This was going to be tricky, no mistake. Koenma shrugged. Hiei was tapping his foot impatiently. Kurama sighed. "Look, Koenma, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is that you send us to this demon's headquarters so we can rescue the girls. The hard way is that Hiei ends up blowing up your office and killing your ogres and wreaking complete havoc before you finally send us to the demon's headquarters so that he doesn't destroy the entire palace. Got it?" Koenma nodded feebly and in a moment, the two demons were standing in a deserted corridor in an unfamiliar building. Hiei looked around.

"That was nicely done," he said.

"Thanks," Kurama said, surprised that his work had been commented on. Hiei used his Jagon to search the building, then pointed down the corridor.

"This way," he said. Kurama followed. They reached an intersecting passage and flattened themselves into the shadows as four demons made their way towards the intersection. Two continued down the passage and two turned into the passage that Kurama and Hiei were hiding in. The boys looked at each other and Kurama mouthed the words 'which way?' Hiei nodded his head in the direction that the first pair of demons had taken, so they moved quickly into another alcove. The sentries were well ahead of them by then. Kurama strained to hear their voices.

"Madam K doesn't want anyone near her prisoners right now. Says that if they're disturbed, they might fight the drugs or something."

"Nothing to worry about there, mate. Madam K knows her potions. Those two will be out for a week or more, even if a brass band troops through their cell."

"Maybe, but I'm not chancing it. Last thing we need is Madam K finding out that we were anywhere near those two girls, especially before she's had some fun with them."

"Aye, and I hope she lets us watch. Been a while since I saw her extracting information from a prisoner. Lots of fun, eh?"

"For everyone but her victims. I heard that those two are master thieves and they have a secret lair with more booty than our whole horde could carry."

"Aye, and Madam K will have them telling her exactly where every last bauble is, I'll wager."

"Sure enough."

Kurama shuddered. Hiei saw the shudder and shot a questioning glance at him. Kurama shook his head. Hiei frowned, but Kurama shook his head again and gestured towards another alcove now that the sentries were a suitable distance ahead. They moved quickly along the passageway until they reached a fork. The demons chose the left fork. Hiei used his Jagon to scan the building again.

"They're to the right, but there's two sentries stationed so that they can see the door."

"Okay, what's the quickest way to reach the sentries so we can get rid of them?" Kurama asked. Hiei made a gesture for Kurama to follow him and soon the two demons were off. Hiei had a slightly easier time than Kurama with his amazing speed, but in the end, they were within striking distance of the sentries.

"Take them out or knock them out?" Hiei asked.

"Take them out. We can't risk them coming around and raising an alarm. We're going to have a hard enough time getting the girls out as it is, especially if they're drugged and can't help us," Kurama replied.

It was the work of one brutal moment to kill the sentries. Hiei sheathed his sword without even glancing at the slain demon, and Kurama likewise ignored his sentry as he returned his rose to his hair. Then it took only a moment for the master-burglar Kurama to pick the lock on the cell door and they were inside. There they paused, stunned.

Both girls were laying on the floor, restrained by shackles on their arms and legs. They appeared to be unconscious, which was confirmed when Kurama found pulses in both of them. He picked the locks on their shackles and scooped up Himizu. Hiei picked Ryouko up gently. Her head lolled to one side, but otherwise she didn't stir. Himizu, on the other hand, managed to partially open one eye.

"Kur…" she murmured.

"What?" Kurama said, looking at her bemusedly.

"…ama… I…"

"Are you okay, Himizu?"

"…love… you…"

"Wait, what did you say?" Kurama exclaimed, looking alarmed.

"like… a…."

"She's got to be delirious," Kurama said, looking at Hiei in desperation.

"…tom…ato…" With that, her eye closed again and her head lolled. (A/N: I saw a book called 'I love you like a tomato' at the library a while back. I've been waiting to use that line in a fic. Please forgive me.)

Kurama looked at Hiei. "That did not happen, got it?" he said.

"What didn't happen?" Hiei asked with fake innocence.

"Good…" Kurama muttered. The two demons left the cell quickly and hurried to find an escape route. Burdened as they were with two unconscious females, the journey out took considerably longer than the journey in. However, they did eventually spot a door to the outside world, but it was guarded by a pair of demons with spears. Kurama threw Himizu over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and drew his rose whip. Hiei held Ryouko closer to him and drew his katana. They leapt out and attacked the demons. As they were being overwhelmed, one stepped forward to fight Kurama and Hiei at the same time while the other demon stepped back and started blowing on a small silver whistle with every ounce of breath he could muster. Both demons were quickly killed, but then Kurama and Hiei made an unfortunate discovery. The door was locked. Kurama tried to pick the lock, but there was no time. The two demons were surrounded by the horde, weapons at the ready. Hiei and Kurama quickly lay the unconscious girls against the wall and braced themselves for battle. The demons suddenly parted like the Red Sea to make way for their leader.

Kokuzoku was playing the part of the seductive yet deadly horde leader to perfection. She was dressed in a purple gown with a slit nearly all the way up her thigh and she carried herself like a queen. But right now her normally arrogant countenance was tinged with anger and annoyance. "You are robbing me of my victims," she exclaimed angrily.

"Clever observation," Hiei said, quirking an eyebrow. Kokuzoku's eyes narrowed and she pulled a silver knife from a sheath on her leg.

"You must be the bodyguards Koenma mentioned to me," the demoness said. "A bit useless though, aren't you, if you allow your charges to run off?"

"What are you planning to do with them?" Kurama asked, assuming the demoness was like most horde leaders he had encountered: always looking to brag about their nefarious deeds. He was right.

"Force them to tell me where all their treasure is hidden of course," she said, smiling. "First I gave them a powerful sedative that will keep them out for several days while I prepare the other solutions. Then I'll give them combinations of powerful truth serums as well as drugs that induce unimaginable pain. Under my interrogation, their bodies and minds will become so tortured that the death that follows once I'm satisfied is a merciful relief."

Kurama just stared, still amazed by how cruel demons could be to other living creatures. Hiei, on the other hand, had his hackles raised. Yes the girls drove him crazy, yes they had little regard to anyone's safety, and yes they happily took lives with almost as little care as this demoness planned to take their lives, but this was so extreme… too extreme even for his harsh tastes. His eyes glowed bright red and suddenly an aura of black fire appeared around him. Kurama flinched and took several steps back, ready to shield the girls if necessary. Hiei pulled back the bandages on his arm, revealing his dragon tattoo. Kokuzoku froze, horror etched on her face.

"You… that's where I've heard of you… so it's true…" she gasped. Hiei ignored her, letting his aura continue to build up. Then he threw his head back and let out an unearthly yell.

"KOKURYU-HAAAAAAAA!" he yelled as the black dragon erupted from his body. Kokuzoku and her horde were disintegrated at once. The dragon vanished as quickly as it had appeared and Hiei fell to his knees, obviously drained. Kurama took a deep breath. He'd never been so close to the Dragon in such a confined space. Feeling lucky to be alive, he looked down at the two girls. Both were still completely out of it. He turned back to Hiei.

"Are you okay? You think you can get to the car?" he asked. Hiei nodded, but didn't move. Kurama frowned slightly, but didn't say anything else. Instead he went back to the door and picked the lock. As the door opened and the sickly sweet stench of the Makai jungle hit his nostrils, Kurama turned back to Hiei with a question in his eyes.

"Go ahead… I'll catch up…" Hiei said. He was starting to push himself to his feet, though he was still leaning against the wall for support. Kurama shrugged and lifted Ryouko piggy-back style onto his back, then scooped Himizu up in his arms. It would be slow going this way, but no matter. Kurama started the slow walk, keeping his eyes peeled for telltale signs of the girls' vehicle. After only a few minutes, Hiei phased into view next to him and lifted Ryouko from his back. Over his shoulder hung a bag that bulged with the bulk of its contents.

"What's that?" Kurama asked, lifting one slender hand to wipe strands of his scarlet hair from his face.

"Something for our troubles," Hiei replied curtly. Kurama lifted an eyebrow.

"And the reason these two were persuaded to come here no doubt…" he said dryly.

Hiei nodded. "You should remind them of that. How little value they seemed to place on their lives. It's only money."

"Maybe for you, but for them it's a livelihood," Kurama reminded him.

"How much money do they really need?" Hiei asked. "They're very well-off, and surely there were safer missions to take. Frankly I don't understand why they feel the need to do these missions."

"It's not about the money for them I don't think. Not really," Kurama replied. "It's the risk. The thrill. The adventure. They're foolish of course, but they're fulfilling a need as basic to some as food, water, or air."

"Perhaps. I may still murder Koenma for this though," Hiei said flatly. Kurama snuck a quick glance at the fire demon and saw him gazing down at Ryouko. The expression on his face showed not love, but something else. A tenderness perhaps that one would express for a close friend. If there was any romantic love at all, it was the sort born of a long time of close friendship, and of shared experiences beyond those of normal friendship. Kurama smiled inwardly, but kept walking without comment. They reached the hidden car and Kurama laid Himizu onto the reclined shotgun seat while Hiei sat in the back, Ryouko's head on his lap. Kurama started the engine and sent the car back to the girls' mansion in the fifth dimension. He was as eager as Hiei for a confrontation with Koenma, but first there were other items of business to take care of.

A/N: One final thing I wanted to mention... you may have noticed that I don't often put chapter titles on my fic anymore. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Should I come up with chapter titles for future fics? Does it even matter? Just something that popped into my head, let me know your thoughts. Please review, and see you next chapter!


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Well I'm posting this a little later then I was planning on but not matter. Today I will sort of vaguely half-introduce the final little saga of this fic. Only three more chapters after this one, aren't you excited? I'm planning to post the next chapter in a week or so, but I'll post it sooner if I get two reviews on this chapter! Just two, that's all I ask!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, etc. etc. Whatever. I'm hungry and I'm gonna go make lunch.

Himizu awoke and for a moment didn't know where she was. Her eyes darted around and she relaxed for a moment. She was safe in her bed in her room in the mansion. The familiar and comforting items in her room soothed her and for a moment she thought she would fall asleep again. Then she realized she was still wearing her black clothes. Not only that, she felt grimy and filthy, a condition she would never climb into bed in. Then memories came flooding back. The offer they couldn't refuse, the demoness overlord, the drug cocktails… then nothing, nothing until coming to in her own bed. At first she could have convinced herself it was all a terrible dream, but the filthy spy clothes and the horrifyingly vivid memories made her realize that this was no dream. Not stopping to wonder how she'd ended up back in the mansion, she threw back the covers and jumped to her feet, intending to check on Ryouko. Vertigo hit her like a truck and she swayed and would have collapsed had Kurama not appeared out of nowhere to catch her and help her sit down on the edge of her bed. Himizu shook her head, trying desperately to clear it.

"Kurama? What are you doing in my room? What happened? How did I get back here? Where's Ryouko? Is she okay?"

"Well you're lucid, that's a good sign." Kurama rested a hand against her forehead for a moment. "You're a little clammy, but you seem okay, aside from the dizziness. How does your head feel?"

"Bad. I want some aspirin. And I feel a little sick to my stomach and I think I'd rather like to lie down again. But are you going to answer my questions?" she asked.

"Yes, I will. Drink this first." Kurama handed her a small pill and a glass of orangish-brown liquid. Himizu obediently swallowed both, and was pleased to find that the liquid was her favorite pineapple orange banana juice. Then she looked at Kurama, who quickly summarized the actions he and Hiei had taken as soon as they realized what had happened to the girls. Himizu shook her head.

"That son of a bitch," she growled. "I can't believe he was that thick-headed. But then he is Koenma."

"We'll figure out what to do about him. Ryouko is in her room. Hiei's keeping an eye on her. Do you remember what happened?"

Himizu nodded and shuddered. "After Koenma left, that bitch dragged us down to some dungeon. Then she pulled out a vial of some purple liquid and a needle. Ryouko started screaming and freaking out. The bitch went to her first. Ryouko passed out before the needle even pierced her skin, so I really couldn't tell what was happening to her. The bitch never bothered to tell us what she was injecting us with. For all I knew she was about to kill us." Himizu shuddered again. "As soon as I realized what was happening, that I was passing out, I tried to fight it. I don't think I did very well though."

"You couldn't have. It was extremely powerful. I'm amazed you're awake this soon actually. Now are you doing to lie back down?" Kurama asked gently.

"For a little while I guess. Then I think I'd like to have a nice long bath."

"Sounds like a plan. We'll see how things go though," Kurama said with a smile. Himizu nodded and lay back down. She was asleep moments after her head hit the pillow. Kurama waited a moment to make sure she was truly asleep, then walked down the hall to Ryouko's room. He found the girl still out, and Hiei sitting by the window reading his Stephan King novel. The fire demon looked up when the fox entered.

"How's Himizu?" Hiei asked.

"She woke up for a few minutes. She wasn't doing very well, so I gave her that pill and hopefully she'll be better when she wakes up. How's Ryouko?"

"Hard to say. She hasn't woken up yet."

"I'm sure she'll be fine." Kurama wasn't entirely convinced since the girl had shown no signs of life other than a pulse and some slow breathing. But he left to continue keeping watch over Himizu, knowing Hiei had excellent common sense and would know if something very bad was happening to Ryouko.

Only a few moments after Kurama had left, Ryouko's eyes fluttered open. For several seconds, all she could see were blurry shapes. Two blinks later the shapes began to focus, and several more seconds later she began to realize where she was. Confused and jumbled images flashed through her mind. Phone call, pop-tarts, Stephen King novel, castle, demon, Koenma, needles… needles… She heard screams as the needle hovered above her body. She wanted to look for whoever was screaming to help them, but she just couldn't tear her eyes away from that horrible needle. Then she became aware of strong hands gripping her shoulders and gradually Hiei's face started to appear in front of her, his blood-red eyes full of concern.

"Ryouko! Ryouko, snap out of it! It's okay, you're at home. Everything's fine," he was saying. Only then did Ryouko realize that she was the one screaming, and she started shaking as she slumped onto the pillow, burying her head in her hands as she sobbed. Hiei ran his hand hesitantly over her shoulders.

"What did she do to us?" Ryouko moaned softly.

"She injected you with a really potent sedative. You two have been out for three days," Hiei told her. Ryouko could only shake her head in disbelief.

"All I remember is seeing this needle. I think I started screaming… I must have passed out because I don't remember getting injected… Good lord… Where's Himizu? Is she okay? How did you guys find us?"

"Himizu's fine. She's also working off the effects of the drug. Kurama's with her. Just relax. Here." He handed her a pill and a glass of lemonade. As she drank it, he explained what had happened. She digested it silently, then lay back against her pillow.

"I think I need to rest a little longer," she said.

"I think you need to think long and hard about what you risked your life for. You two almost died in that demoness's castle. And for what? You need to start taking your lives more seriously." Hiei walked away from Ryouko's bed and sat down by the window again. Ryouko just stared at her hands before curling up and falling back to sleep. Hiei wondered if he'd been too harsh, then dismissed the idea. He leaned back and read, feeling the sun warm him as it slowly started to set.

Hours later, his eyes opened and he realized he'd fallen asleep. He looked around, seeing that it was still dark, but the gray light outside indicated that morning was not far off. Hiei turned to Ryouko's bed, but the girl was no longer there. Alarmed, he jumped to his feet and darted over, searching for clues to her whereabouts. To his bemusement, the sheets had been changed and the bed had been made. But Ryouko was nowhere to be seen. He closed his eyes and scanned the mansion with his Jagon. Kurama's energy was still in Himizu's room, but the girls were in a different part of the mansion. Together, no surprise. And there was no one else with them, which was a relief. Hiei darted to rouse Kurama, for he was surely asleep if he'd allowed Himizu to walk off without supervision.

When Kurama felt someone shake him, he's automatically released several plants to protect him, but was forced to rein them in sharply when he realized it was only Hiei.

"Hiei, what is it? Is something wrong with Ryouko?" he asked, startled.

"I don't know yet, I was about to go find her. I dozed off and she wandered away. And so did Himizu."

"What?" Kurama exclaimed, turning to the bed. Like Ryouko's, Himizu's bed had been made, and sported fresh sheets. Kurama was confused, but he willingly followed Hiei to the girl's location, which happened to be one of the rooms with a TV in it. The girls were watching Scooby-Doo. Ryouko had a towel wrapped around her obviously wet hair, and Himizu's damp hair clung limply to her head. Both girls were wearing baggy blue and white fisher pants and baggy bright colored t-shirts, a sharp contrast from the crisp black clothing they'd been wearing since this whole saga had begun. Kurama took this as a good sign and he sat down in a nearby chair. Hiei glared at Ryouko.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" he demanded.

"Because you look adorable when you're asleep, plus all I did was take a shower, and I'd rather you didn't watch me," she said, making a face at him. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"So have you given up on this crazy thing yet?" he asked.

"Almost," Ryouko replied.

"And pray, what does that mean?" asked Kurama.

"It means we're going to see Risu and Master X. We're going to bring Risu with us and go on one last mission. The last few have not been at all fun. We can't end on such a sour note. We need one last thing, one that's fun, and then we'll hang up these black outfits and go back to being our normal psycho selves," Himizu explained.

"A wise course. Now do you think you'll actually stick to it?" Kurama inquired. The girls just smiled.

"We'll see, won't we?" Ryouko said calmly. "But for now, let's go see what Risu thinks of our plan."

"Oh, she'll be thrilled. She's gonna get to blow shit up," Himizu laughed.

So the gang got into the convertible and headed to Master X's lab, where they again found Risu hunched over a lab table taking careful notes about the doctor's latest experiment. She saw them and looked relieved.

"You guys need to come here more often! I'm used to giving orders to squirrels, not taking orders from them!" she exclaimed.

"You would," Himizu laughed. "So how would you like to go on a mission with us? The very last one."

"Do I get to blow stuff up?"

"But of course."

"Yay! Mass murder!" the squirrel girl cheered and scurried away. Ryouko and Himizu snorted with laugher. Moments later Risu was back with armloads of bombs, gunpowder, TNT, and firecrackers. Kurama and Hiei stared in horror. Risu pulled out a lighter shaped like Gaara and the flame appeared from his mouth as she lit a bottle rocket, which she sent spinning and crashing around the lab. Master X appeared, livid with rage.

"How many times, yes how many times, must I tell you… no explosions in the lab, no, NO EXPLOSIONS! Science is not all explosions, no not all explosions!" he shrieked at her. "You are destroying valuable equipment, yes valuable, and you are disrupting some very delicate, yes very delicate experiments! I shall have to set at least three of them up from the beginning, yes from the beginning! You pyromaniacs are all the same, yes all the same! USELESS, YES USELESS!"

"Take it easy Master X, it was just a bottle rocket," Ryouko laughed. The squirrel doctor's tail bristled with indignation, but rather than continue his tirade, he simply stormed off in a huff. Ryouko shrugged. "It's probably high time we got you away from him anyways or he'd have started experimenting on you just to make you stop blowing things up or chattering or whatever else you do to tick him off." Risu started laughing like a psychopath.

"Hehehehehehehehe disembowelment…" she chortled. Kurama and Hiei glanced at each other with raised eyebrows as they wondered which asylum this nutjob had escaped from.

A/N: You had fun, yes? Remember, if I get two reviews (from different people, no cheating!) I will post the next chapter. If you don't feel like reviewing, I'll just post the next chapter in a week or so, whenever I get around to it. It's up to you, dear readers.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Sadness, only one review... oh well. I waited for about a week, then decided that it was close enough and I wanted to go ahead and post this. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, yadda yadda yadda, if you want a better disclaimer, go... I don't know, somewhere else...

"So Risu, before we leave, anything fun that we can use to wreak havoc on the world at large?" Himizu asked.

"Yes, let me find them, hold on!" Risu said, scurrying off. Kurama picked up a small glass jar that had some sort of white vapor floating in it. Risu spotted him and snatched the jar away from him. "Don't touch that, that's my lunch!" she exclaimed. Kurama lifted an eyebrow.

"And if you don't mind me asking, what is it?"

"A soul… bwa ha ha." The laugh seemed almost like an afterthought. Kurama nearly dropped the jar in his haste to get away from the psychotic girl. Hiei had a tiny sweatdrop as he stared at her. Risu reappeared moments later holding five black trench coats.

"And since when has Master X been a fashion designer in addition to being our weapons master?" Ryouko muttered.

"Well in addition to being super-stylish, they have the ability to deflect a bullet… or so Master X claims."

"I feel a strong desire to test that theory right now," Hiei muttered, figuring that having this lunatic along would be even worse than having just Ryouko and Himizu running wild. Risu made a face at him. Then she reached into one of the coat pockets and pulled out five sets of night-vision goggles.

"Never know when these will come in handy," she said with a grin. Himizu's smile widened.

"Alright, let's get back to Animedom and gather some supplies," Himizu said. So they all went back to the car and in moments they had pulled into the mansion's spacious garage. The girls were soon walking around seeking out supplies. Ryouko led them first to her armory, which was guarded by fingerprint scanners for all ten fingers, two retinal scanners, and even a tongue scanner. And when they entered, guns hung on racks all around the room with boxes of ammunition stacked on small shelves under each gun. Knives, swords, grenades, land mines, bombs… all had their place in Ryouko's armory. Kurama and Hiei's eyes nearly bugged out of their heads. Ryouko smiled proudly.

"Fools always tell us that man's greatest inventions were the wheel and the automobile. Well, I think it's the machine gun and the time bomb." She started walked around quickly, muttering to herself as she decided who needed what kind of weapon. Himizu snatched Risu by the collar to keep her from dashing in and looting the place before running off to use everything on that unfortunate first person she came in contact with.

"Kurama, could you walk into that room right there?" Ryouko asked, pointing to a door at the back of the room. "Grab more boxes of these machine gun shells. There's no way this will be enough." Kurama shrugged and walked into the room. Moments later…

"AAAAAHHHHHH! SNAKE!"

"Oh, right, the snake. I should have told you. Don't go in there without a mongoose," Ryouko said, throwing a stuffed mongoose in after him. "Seriously, the snake isn't that smart, he won't realize that that thing is harmless." Kurama had already dashed out and slammed the door and he leaned against it, panting. The stuffed mongoose had landed in his hair and seemed to stare at them all with its dull beady eyes.

"Why for the love of all that is good in this world do you have that giant snake in that room with your extra ammunition?" Kurama yelped.

"That was Albert. He's perfectly sweet, though once I got over-careless with him and he nearly took my head off."

"Well done, Albert," Hiei said dryly. Ryouko made a face at him. The girls continued gathering weapons, then they all went back upstairs where Himizu made a spaghetti dinner, complete with cheesy garlic bread. (Yes I can cook, yes I can make that meal, I'm actually a pretty good pasta cook.) Then they played cards and ate brownies before retreating to bed. At least Kurama and Hiei retreated to Kitsune and Saru's rooms, Risu, Ryouko, and Himizu went to Ryouko's room for a while to make battle plans. They kept this up until the small hours of the morning before finally going to bed.

Sometime early the next afternoon, Kurama and Hiei were watching Mythbusters when the girls showed up. They were wearing black outfits that looked exactly like what ninjas stereotypically wear, except without covering their heads. They wore black combat boots, black leather gloves, and the black trench coats that Risu had provided the day before. They had the invisibility/anti-gravity belts around their waists and sunglasses perched on their noses. Risu was still wearing the silver chains she always wore, Ryouko wore a black baseball cap pulled low over her face, and Himizu wore a black fedora perched at a rakish angle on her head.

"You three look ready for war," Kurama remarked dryly.

"Always. You two wanna get ready or what?" Himizu asked.

The two demons knew better than to argue, and in no time they were dressed in identical black pants, black tank tops, the trench coats and belts, and combat boots and sunglasses.

"Okay, we're ready. Now where are we going?" Hiei grumbled.

"To do battle with one of the most greedy and soul-sucking entities ever to set foot on this planet," Risu proclaimed dramatically.

"And that would be…?" Kurama asked. The girls looked at each other, then back to the two demons.

"Wal-Mart," they intoned. Kurama and Hiei did identical face-faults.

"You are not serious," Kurama said finally. "Please tell me you have a plan that doesn't involve walking into the nearest Wal-Mart in these outfits and blowing the place straight to hell."

The girls looked at each other again, then back to Kurama.

"Uh, fox… you're talking to *us* here…" Ryouko said. "Of course that's our plan." Kurama groaned.

"I thought you were actually going to try NOT to get killed on this mission," he said finally.

"We won't get killed on this mission," Himizu argued. "Those places aren't well-guarded."

"As soon as you get out of the car in the parking lot, someone's going to call the cops and before you know it, it'll be the McDonald's thing all over again," Kurama replied. The girls suddenly looked delighted.

"Really? You think so? This will be better than we hoped!" Himizu exclaimed.

"Oh yeah! That was so much fun!" Ryouko added delightedly.

"Yeah, this'll be great! I was sorry to miss blowing up a McDonalds, that place is so full of soul-crushing emptiness and evilness," Risu said. "And Wal-Mart is at least is bad, probably considerably worse, and they deserve to be blown up.

"Besides," Ryouko said, seeing that Kurama was about to keep up his objections, "it's not like they have some kind of Wal-Mart secret police. We'll be fine."

Famous last words…

A/N: Ok, yeah, the ending to this is kind of odd... but the last two chapters involve my cohorts and myself destroying Wal-Mart, and you will enjoy it I'm sure. Please please please review!


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Sorry I missed a week of publishing, I randomly lost track of when I last posted a chapter... then I got sick over the weekend, but I've dragged myself to the computer to post this. Since I start classes next Tuesday, I'll be sure to post the final chapter before then so that this fic is officially complete, woot!

Disclaimer: The author is cranky and sick, do not screw with her by demanding a disclaimer when there are many others clearly posted throughout the fic!

The group pulled up in front of a Wal-Mart somewhere in the US and entered. An elderly Wal-Mart greeter stared at the obviously deranged young people in complete and utter horror. Ignoring her, the gang strode on in and Risu fired several shots into the air, shooting out several lights.

"Everybody get down! We have no quarrel with any of you, only with the store! Do not interfere and you will not be harmed!" Ryouko hollered. Himizu couldn't help but grin.

"I don't quite know why I'm doing this, I depend on Wal-Marts for most of my food and basic supplies at college… But what the hell, this is fun. We honor you with trouble, Wal-Mart!" she screamed.

Kurama sighed and put his hand over his eyes. "I don't believe this."

"Really?" Hiei said. "Why not? After everything else they've done since they started this insanity…"

Ryouko hugged him tightly. "Oh Hiei, you know you've enjoyed it!" she said, then went took off running after her cohorts, screaming like a maniac.

The first stop was the electronics, where Himizu and Ryouko proceeded to destroy the CD racks while Risu screamed at the hapless clerks.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? DO YOU THINK THAT EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS AN INNOCENT CHILD WHO CANNOT BEAR TO HEAR ABOUT DRUGS AND SEX? HAVE YOU LOST ALL YOUR COLLECTIVE SPINES TO ALLOW YOURSELVES TO BE PUSHED AROUND BY CONSERVATIVE RELIGIOUS FANATICS? HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR CURSING OR DRUG REFERENCES! HOW DARE YOU CENSOR OUR CD'S AND THEN NOT GIVE US THE OPTION OF BUYING UNCENSORED VERSIONS! AND YOU WONDER WHY PEOPLE GO TO TARGET FOR THEIR CD'S! YOU RUINED PAPA ROACH ALONG WITH MANY OTHER AMAZING ROCK BANDS, YOU HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PEOPLE!" she bellowed.

"You tell em girl!" Ryouko yelled.

"Preach it sister, preach it!" Himizu added, throwing grenades on a stack of Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers CD's as well as all copies of Twilight soundtracks.

By the time Risu was done hollering, the whole area had been well and truly destroyed. She pulled out a rather large grenade. Himizu and Ryouko instantly started running, dragging Kurama and Hiei behind them. They turned just in time to see the epic explosion, with flames and smoke bursting out of the ceiling forming a towering hellish inferno. Patrons and employees alike fled the store screaming in horror as the girls continued their destruction. Clothing was set on fire, shelves of shampoos and toothpaste and hair-care products were exploded with rapid machinegun fire, and toys were blown to smithereens with bombs and grenades. Thanks to the gaping hole in the ceiling, the smoke floated away and allowed them to make their way through the store with some visibility. They had blown out most, though not all, of the lights, but the murky smoky darkness suited them. Finally they commandeered a 24-pack of Mountain Dew and a package of Oreo cookies and sat down to celebrate their victory before going on to more destruction. Himizu was surrounded by several large bags stuffed with groceries as she was never one to pass up a chance to restock the kitchen supplies in the mansion, and Kurama had been a rather willing helper since he was so impressed that she was actually being somewhat practical rather than being purely destructive. Ryouko and Hiei had been enjoying themselves by blowing up the ugliest clothes they could find along with the sappy Hallmark cards. They both wore the smug grins of a job well done. Risu had annihilated the toy department and was now sitting on another 24-pack of Mountain Dew and blowing bubbles from a small orange bottle of suds, with another 5 bottles of bubble suds sitting around her. It was almost an idyllic scene if they weren't in a mostly-destroyed Wal-Mart. As they relaxed, Kurama's ears caught a sound that was out of place. He glanced around, but visibility wasn't all that good. Hiei saw his friend's demeanor change and stood up, hand on his katana. The three girls stopped chattering and stared at the boys.

"Kurama? Hiei? What's up?" Ryouko asked finally.

"Did the cops get the courage to come in here?" Risu asked.

"I don't think so; they would probably make more noise…" Kurama said softly. In one quick silent jump, Hiei was on a shelf looking around. He jumped over a few more rows and continued his scrutiny. Then he spotted two men with sniper rifles creeping from row to row. Now thoroughly alarmed, he started to run back when he realized that there were four more people sneaking through the smoke.

"Shit," he hissed. Then he looked up at the hole in the roof where he could hear the hum of one of those ningen flying machines… what were they called? He took off before the men with rifles spotted him and landed perfectly next to Ryouko. "Do you hear that? Those flying machines… that spin…" he moved one of his fingers in a circle.

"Helicopters?" Kurama finally asked. Hiei nodded and they all looked up to see a helicopter lowering a giant tarp over the hole the group had created. Suddenly it became many shades darker.

"And there are six guys with sniper rifles heading our way," Hiei added.

"Shit…" Himizu hissed. "We'd better work on getting out of here." Kurama stood up and started to look around to analyze their possible escape routes when he saw a dim red dot come into focus near them, then saw it vanish near Ryouko. He opened his mouth to yell a warning, but the sharp crack of a gunshot rang out and Ryouko pitched forward with an agonized shriek. Everyone jumped up, horrified. Kurama guessed she had been shot in the back and knew that there was an excellent chance Ryouko had been paralyzed or had a mortal wound. Hiei's eyes widened in horror and he started to move towards her, but before he'd taken two steps, she was pushing herself back to her feet.

"Goddamn, remind me to hug Master X next time we see him, these bullet-deflecting coats are truly amazing," she gasped, wincing in pain. "Still hurts like crazy though, can't say I recommend testing them."

Himizu shuddered slightly. "Alright, everyone has night-vision goggles, right?" They all nodded. "Well put them on."

"Why?" Hiei demanded. She glared at him.

"For once can I please ask you to do something without you questioning everything I do?" she demanded. He just stared blankly at her. She sighed, put on her own night vision goggles, then turned around and shot out the remaining lights with her gun. The whole store was instantly pitch-black. They all heard a few muffled curses from their would-be attackers. The group began to sneak quietly away from their little pow-wow area and started seeking an escape route. The doors were probably not a good option since the whole place was probably surrounded with cops and SWAT teams and the military… pulling a switcheroo and stealing the uniforms of the guys with sniper rifles and walking boldly out the door would be terribly risky and would only be used as a last resort… the hole in the ceiling also seemed like a dangerous option because it involved them climbing up a rope in the middle of the store, very exposed to sniper rifles, and besides the helicopter would probably still be nearby ready to take them out. Himizu snapped her fingers.

"Of course! The greenhouse!" she hissed. Ryouko and Risu nodded eagerly.

"Okay, that means we need to be really careful. These guys will probably make a sweep of the place, so we should wait until they clear the greenhouse area. Then let them get a little further away from it so they don't make the connection. Then we'll need a diversion," Ryouko said softly.

"They seem well-trained though, won't they realize that it's a diversion?" Kurama asked.

"Most likely. But they won't realize that it's a diversion of a diversion," Risu said, nodding wisely. Kurama and Hiei both stared blankly at the odd squirrel.

"Once we have them distracted, we'll have to sneak out of the greenhouse, probably through the roof. From there we can decide whether we'll be able to make a break for the car on foot or whether we'll have to improvise another plan," Himizu finished. Kurama couldn't help but marvel that the girls had spoken only a few words to each other, yet quickly come up with seemingly identical and even fairly reasonable plans. So they snuck off and followed the people with sniper rifles as they systematically searched the store. As they got closer, they saw the letters WMSP embroidered on the backs of their jackets. Ryouko's eyes narrowed.

"WMSP? Do you think that means…?"

"They do have a secret police…" Risu murmured, looking rather surprised.

"This would be hilarious if they weren't trying to kill us," Ryouko sighed.

They reached the greenhouse area several aisles ahead of the WMSP, which was actually a relatively easy task considering that they had night-vision goggles while the WMSP had their pitiful ningen night-vision. Since they were now in the section of home supplies and furniture and etc. which gave them an excellent view of the greenhouse, there were plenty of places to hide. Hiei jumped onto the highest shelf and pulled Ryouko after him and they hid themselves between a desk and a bookshelf. Himizu and Kurama gave Risu a boost up and then levered themselves up to hide between and under more pieces of furniture. None of them moved or even breathed as they watched the WMSP officers move softly into their aisle, seeing only blackness around them, but totally alert for any movement or sound. One officer walked up the aisle while the other stood at the end and stared around into the smoky darkness. Any of them could have reached out and grabbed the guy, taken him out, and taken his gun, but they all knew that option was risky since then they would have to get rid of the five other officers. So they waited and the officers moved on to the next aisle. Then they kept waiting for several more moments before Ryouko tapped Hiei's arm. He slowly stood and then jumped softly as a cat onto the very top part of the shelf, crouching there and looking quickly around. The two guards near them were now three rows away, and he could see the other four searching other parts of the store. He lowered himself back down next to Ryouko.

"Okay, who's doing the distraction?" he hissed in her ear.

"Risu. Take her to a safe part of the store and then meet us in the greenhouse," she whispered back.

"Why Risu?" he grumbled.

"Because Himizu and Kurama and I will be much faster at getting our escape passage ready, plus she's a pyro and it will be good for her. Now move," she hissed, giving him a light shove. He snarled and then hopped down onto the floor. Himizu, Kurama, and Risu were all lowering themselves down from the shelf. Hiei helped Ryouko down and then glared at Risu for a moment before pulling her onto his back piggy-back style and darting off.

"Let's go," Himizu muttered and the trio slipped into the greenhouse. They scanned the area for a moment. It had remained quite untouched as the girls didn't want to harm innocent plants, plus they knew Kurama would use that as an excuse to kill them. A quick scan around the place confirmed that there was no one there. Ryouko tiptoed over to one of the clouded glass walls and glanced around.

"There are cops and military people everywhere, but they seem to just be waiting for the WMSP officers to finish searching the building," she reported.

"Cool," Himizu said. "Okay Kurama, we're going to need to find a pane of glass to break."

"That one there is already cracked, it shouldn't be hard to finish prying loose," Kurama said, pointing to one that was located on one end of the building that luckily was adjacent to the Wal-Mart building and near a bunch of trees. Kurama quickly used his plant powers to conjure up some vines and such to lift them up to the glass pane. Just as they reached the glass, they heard several shrieks and bangs and the inside of the Wal-Mart briefly took a faint red, purple, green, and blue hue. More shrieks and bangs sounded with the smoke inside Wal-Mart lighting up several colors in quick succession. Himizu grinned.

"I hope that worked," she said. "Okay Ryouko, hold the cloth steady." As soon as Ryouko had placed a cloth coated lightly with honey against the glass, Himizu began gently tapping it with a knife handle. Kurama nodded approvingly at the old thief trick. The sticky cloth kept the glass from making a loud sound as it was broken and also prevented pieces from falling to the floor. It took quite a bit of work to finish breaking the pane of glass but in the end, Kurama and Ryouko gingerly pulled away the cloth covered in broken glass. It was gently folded and tucked away for disposal later. Kurama looked down to see Hiei and Risu safely back, and Hiei already climbing the vines towards them, with Risu riding piggy-back once again.

Ryouko looked down at her squirrel friend. "I must admire your restraint. You went a full two hours before you blew anything up." Risu grinned psychotically.

"It worked perfectly. Two of the guards headed straight for the fireworks and the other four started searching other parts of the store since it was pretty obvious that that was a diversion. But no one saw us and no one came to the greenhouse. But they're making rounds more quickly now so I think we'd better hurry up and escape."

"Good plan," Kurama agreed, pulling himself out of the hole and onto the glass roof.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed, please review! (waves and goes to pass out in bed again) Strep throat sucks big time...


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I really enjoy having at least one review before I post another chapter, but I also made it a personal goal to have this fic completely posted before my classes start, and since that's in 12 hours, I figured I'd better go ahead and post this. So here it is, the long-awaited conclusion! I hope everyone enjoyed it, reviews are still appreciated even though the fic is finished. I have several other fics I'm working on, and I'm planning to start posting one of them soon since it's nearly done... amazing, I know... anyways, I'm rambling, so I'll shut up. Go read it! Please enjoy! Please review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Wal-Mart, Yu Yu Hakusho, Bob Evan's, Shakespeare, and anything else I may have referenced. Yadda yadda yadda, etc.

Kurama glanced around quickly as he crouched on the glass roof of the Wal-Mart greenhouse. He soon confirmed that no one was even looking at the glass roof, so he took the precaution of flattening himself against the wall of the main store (which stood about five or six feet higher than the greenhouse roof, and pulled up the three girls and Hiei. Then he shrank the plants back down to normal size. "Now all we have to worry about is them noticing the large hole in the roof," he muttered.

The girls were already scanning the area for an escape route. Ground escape seemed basically out of the question, there were far too many law enforcement officers and frankly they had been lucky not to have been spotted already. Finally Himizu pointed up to the roof.

"You hear that? The helicopter is still here," she whispered.

"Fantastic. It's probably also heavily guarded," Hiei pointed out.

"Let's give Risu a boost and find out then," Himizu replied, helping Kurama boost up the short squirrel girl.

"The helicopter's sitting on the roof and I see three people standing around it," she told them.

"That's all? This will be too easy," Ryouko said with a smile.

"They have awfully big guns," Risu said.

"So do we," Ryouko reminded her.

"Okay, so speed is key here. Let's get on the roof, sneak as close as we can to them, and then just taken them out as fast as possible and go," Himizu said.

"They'll notice the chopper fly off," Kurama reminded her.

"True… but once we're in the air, we'll be hard to stop," she said. "All we have to do is find a safe place to abandon ship and make our way back to the car."

Kurama knew they had no other choice. Every moment that they spent sitting there increased the risk that they would be seen. Plus it would be daylight before much longer and they had to be well away by then. So they climbed onto the roof, crouched low to avoid being seen, and they got within fifteen feet of their targets before one of them turned and saw the group. Himizu flew forward and tackled the guy and her two cohorts tackled the other two men. A fourth man poked his head out of the helicopter, but Kurama and Hiei grabbed him before he could radio for help or take off in the copter. The four men were tied up and gagged, then the five piled into the helicopter. Himizu snatched the pilot's seat.

"What are you doing?" Ryouko yelped. "You don't know how to fly a goddamn helicopter! And you get air sick! No, no, none of this adds up! Get out, let me fly it!"

"Never! Bwa ha ha ha ha!" Himizu laughed, slamming the helicopter into gear. It lurched, twisted, groaned, and finally strained its way into the air. Kurama peered down and saw a few law enforcement officers pointing up at the copter, but they were clearly in the minority; nearly everyone was watching the doors anxiously for signs of the WMSP officers. Himizu's hands shook slightly as she struggled to manage the tricky controls. One lever sent the helicopter lurching downwards, and another seemed intent on spinning the copter out of control. Gritting her teeth, she went back to the control that had allowed them lift off a few moments before and sent the copter higher into the sky as she tried to decipher which lever or button would send them away from Wal-Mart to safety. Kurama gently tapped her shoulder and suggested one lever she had not tried and at last the copter buzzed away from Wal-Mart into the night sky.

"So how exactly do you plan to land this thing?" Ryouko yelped, not feeling terribly confident after the rocky take-off.

"I don't!" Himizu called back to her. At that moment their radio squawked to life and they could hear someone calling the copter asking where it was headed and why it had left the Wal-Mart. They could also hear the officers who had been inside the Wal-Mart trying to find them, but the words were hard to make out. The impression was that they were becoming frustrated with no signs of their quarry except for the fireworks and Kurama thought he heard them asking for lights to be brought in as well as a back-up crew. He was relieved that they had managed to escape when they did. His relief was short-lived however as Himizu was starting to bring the chopper lower above a wooded area.

"Uh… Himizu… what exactly are you planning?" he asked finally.

"We're going to bail out," she told him

"WHY?" he yelled at her. "Why the hell would we want to do that?"

"Well partly because then they'll really have no idea where to start looking for us…"

"We're about to go find your car that will take us to another dimension…" Kurama reminded her dryly.

"Which brings me to the second reason, which is that it is an incredibly awesome and bad-ass thing to do," she told him, leveling out the copter above the trees. "Ok gang, jump!" Ryouko and Risu threw themselves from the copter without a second's hesitation. Kurama and Hiei glanced at each other, then Hiei jumped out too. Kurama looked at Himizu again.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes really. I'm gonna set this thing back up to start flying away and as it starts, I'll jump."

"There are so many flaws with this plan…"

"JUST JUMP, GODDAMNIT!" she screamed at him. He did so, fearing her wrath far more than the fall. As he fell, he pulled out his rose whip and extended it, then wrapped it around a limb from a nearby tree and swung himself to another limb. Hiei landed next to him. This didn't surprise Kurama in the least, as he knew that Hiei had awesome abilities to somehow defy gravity and leap tremendous distances and fall from ridiculous heights without sustaining any serious injury. Rumors that his cloak acted as a parachute had not been confirmed. Now he started looking for the girls. He was not so convinced that they would survive the plunge, though they certainly seemed to believe that they wouldn't have a problem.

"Have you seen them?" he asked. Hiei shook his head. Kurama looked up and saw Himizu plunging down to earth, graceful as a skydiver. As she approached the treetops, she put her hand on her waist under her flapping trench coat. Suddenly she stopped falling and even floated up a bit, then fell again, stopped, floated up a little more, and repeated this a few times until she landed gently on the forest floor. She brushed the dirt and pine needles off her hands and her pants, then looked around and spotted the two demons. She waved.

"Hey guys! Let me guess, you forgot about the awesome anti-gravity belts!" she called up to them. The demons looked at each other. They had to admit that she was right. At that moment, Ryouko and Risu walked up, both brushing leaves and twigs from their clothes and hair.

"Lovely dive Himizu," Risu said, high-fiving her friend. Suddenly they were knocked over by an almighty explosion and they saw a plume of smoke a few miles away. Ryouko slapped her forehead.

"Jeeze Himizu! Must you destroy every vehicle, besides our lovely convertible of course, that you get into?" she exclaimed.

"Standard operating procedure," Himizu replied with a grin. Kurama and Hiei exchanged bewildered glances, then jumped down from the tree to land beside the girls. They started hiking through the woods in the direction of the Wal-Mart. Every now and then they heard screaming sirens or the buzz of a helicopter. Then they reached the city and walked along the sidewalk, and decided to stop at a Bob Evan's to have some breakfast before continuing. One of the TVs was tuned to a local news station and they watched with interest as footage showed the explosions from the Wal-Mart, footage of the WMSP entering the building, and finally a shot of a pretty young reporter standing near the wrecked helicopter.

"Well Bob, authorities still have found no signs of the terrorists who attacked Wal-Mart yesterday. It is believed that they engineered an escape using the helicopter behind me, but as you can see they appear to have crashed. The fire department is trying to put out the blaze, and then the wreckage will be searched for the bodies."

"And are authorities certain that the bodies are in face in the remains of the helicopters?"

"Well the police chief seems to believe so, but as a precaution he does have teams searching the wooded area around the crash. I've been told that a few dogs are being brought in and should arrive within the hour."

The waitress came to drop off the check and leave them the bill. "Amazing what some people will do, isn't it?" she said, shaking her head at the TV. "Crazy terrorists, wonder what point they were trying to prove." She hadn't said a word yet about the bags that the group had brought in (which you may recall contained stolen food and other goods like money from the registers and jewelry from the jewelry counter), believing that they were young people who had been on a camping trip. The group paid and left, doing their best not to draw attention to themselves. Thankfully Himizu had had the foresight to park the car in a parking lot a short distance away from the Wal-Mart, so even though they were close enough to see the buzz of activity around the destruction they had wrought, no one took any notice of them as they sped away.

Safely back at Animedom, the girls and their demon companions met up to relax in one of the rooms with a big TV and comfy couches. They had all showered and changed. Kurama was wearing his magenta school uniform and Hiei was wearing his black pants and blue tank top. Risu was wearing baggy green pants with red and brown dragons on the legs and a black My Chemical Romance t-shirt. Ryouko was wearing jeans and a teal tank top. Himizu was wearing dark gray cargo pants and a light gray t-shirt with green and purple designs across the front. Kurama looked approvingly at them, noting that there was considerably less black now (though getting Risu to stop wearing black somewhere on her body was basically an impossible task).

"So now you're done with all this insanity?" he asked.

"Of course we are," the girls replied, crossing their fingers behind their backs. Kurama raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but they maintained their blank and innocent facades. Ryouko didn't help matters by pulling out a collection of James Bond movies for them all to watch, but Kurama had learned by now that there was no point in trying to make the girls change their minds about anything. So he settled back in a chair to watch the movies and all was peaceful and quiet. Himizu made a gesture with her hand and a stack of mail fell into it. She started going through the letters.

"Bills… advertisements… sale ads… threatening letters from the forty-seven old ladies that we mugged the other day…"

Ryouko lifted her eyebrows. "Wow, usually they don't get the letters to us until a week later!"

"… threatening letters from the mother of the little boy Risu ran over three days ago…"

"That wasn't my fault!" Risu objected. "How was I to know he'd be playing in his yard? And what's that lady fussing about anyways? It's not like he died! He was only paralyzed from the neck down!"

"… threatening letters from the businessmen we've stolen money and patents from…"

Ryouko rolled her eyes. "Well, they own Microsoft, they can afford it!"

"… threatening letters from the government claiming that we're sponsoring terrorism…"

Risu laughed. "Who, us? We're not sponsoring the terrorism! We're the terrorists!"

"… threatening letters from the Nazis, that must be for Ryouko…"

"CURSE YOU NAZIS!" Ryouko yelled at the letter, pouring lemonade on it. The letter exploded and the laughter of Nazis filled the room. Hiei and Kurama stared, but the girls didn't pay any attention, as this was an everyday occurrence.

"…Oh, Ryouko, here's a letter from your car insurance company saying they're not gonna pay you because they say you set the car on fire yourself…"

Ryouko looked annoyed. "I DID NOT! It spontaneously combusted."

Risu snickered. "Right… After you doused it in lighter fluid!"

Ryouko expression switched to offended. "There's nothing wrong with that! I… like the smell!"

The girls started arguing and soon were hurling Shakespeare insults at each other.

"You are rough and hairy!"

"Your face is not worth sunburning!"

"Thy brains are useless, boiled within thy skull!"

"Why are you a fool?"

"By this hand, I shall supplement some of your teeth!"

"Your horrid image doth unfix my hair!"

"You are full of meaningless noises and actions!"

"Hey, I call a foul, Ryouko! You misquoted, that's not an insult, it's supposed to be a quote about how chaotic life is! It's LIFE is full of meaningless noises and actions!" Himizu exclaimed.

"Go rot!" the girl yelled, throwing a pillow at her. Himizu threw a pillow right back and within a few moments the air was full of flying pillows. Kurama buried his head in his hands and Hiei sat totally still, ignoring them until an errant (or perhaps not?) pillow thrown by Himizu creamed him in the side of the head. He sent a death glare in her direction. She just grinned.

"Oh Hiei, surely you're used to us by now," she said with a smile.

"Not anywhere close…" he grumbled. "And I don't want to be. I'd need to lose all my sanity."

"He's actually got a brain, yay!" Risu exclaimed. Now the death glare was turned in her direction. The two girls put their arms over each other's shoulders and grinned, flashing Anime peace signs.

"Hiei, you should realize this by now…" Ryouko said with a grin of her own. "Hell is empty and all the devils are here. But you know we make life more fun. Think how bored you'd be without us."

"Hn."

Himizu laughed. "Don't worry about him. He's a wet blanket." She jumped up and fled at top speed as Hiei drew his katana and started towards her, leaving Ryouko and Risu laughing crazily. Kurama shook his head.

"Indeed, life would be dull. But normal."

"Normal life IS dull," Risu pointed out. "And that would be a most depressing world."

A/N: So yeah, at risk of repeating myself, hope you enjoyed, hope you continue to read my fics, and please review! Give me a self-esteem boost!


End file.
